IRONY

For the past many months and months, Facebook has pretty much hijacked my attention span, taking it away from this blog and leaving readers twisting in the wind.. unless they themselves migrated over to the land of imitation friendships. Let's face it, accepting a friend request is the equivalent of canine crotch sniffing. We proceed to ogle all of the friends, photos and other bullshit which our new "friends" have just exposed. It's a peep show of flashers and consenting victims.

Today something different happened. Something less typical than what I describe. A couple of things happened actually. First I stumbled upon the Facebook link to mywww.americanturk.blogspot.com blog, where I was astonished to discover that I have followers. I can't think of another word which makes my insides tingle more warmly. Okay there were only six of them in there, but I am not acquainted with three- total strangers. This gives me a hard-on, figuratively speaking, and it explains the first irony which my title suggests: that Facebook played a part in getting me interested in blogging again.

The next surprise came in the form of a friend request acceptance and a message posted to my Facebook Wall by my new friend. I sent a friend request to Franz Wright earlier in the afternoon. By the time I got home from a friend's child's birthday party, he had replied with an acceptance and the following message.

Franz Wright Hi, and thanks for befriending me. I remember coming across your blog a long time ago and being greatly encouraged by some good words of yours. FW

4 hours ago · Comment · Unlike · See Wall-to-Wall
I usually have a pretty low opinion of my work, but even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while. Franz Wright won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry in 2004. That he stumbled upon my blog and found words fit to encourage him is the biggest compliment I have ever received. Irony No 2 happens to be that for twice in one day, Facebook sent me back to the drawing board (that is, my blog), and wondering why I have let is slip so.
The third thing I want to share with you is partly coincidence and part irony. I resigned from my job last week, and yesterday was my last day after five years of service. While my pre-resignation memo and my resignation memo which followed by one month were both ignored completely by upper management, my memo to all fellow co-workers sent yesterday was much more warmly received. I received dozens of replies from well-wishers and numerous compliments relative to my writing. Even a recent e-mail from my new employer also indicated that my choice of words was impressive. Yesterday a [former] co-worker expressed to me that I could probably make a living using this skill if I put my mind to it. Having said all of this, isn't it ironic that theweakness bird-dogged the most by my former employer was "poor communication"?
Here is my Resignation memo, followed by my Goodbye memo. I think Franz would like these.Resignation Memo:

Gentlemen:

I recognize that the problems at [company] are intense enough to eclipse all other matters but it's impossible to perform at a high level when my concerns are ignored. I can't continue to pretend that it doesn’t hurt me that my previous message entered a vacuum. This lack of communication has made things difficult.

No one stays employed anywhere for 5 years for being a low performer, yet the past few weeks and months make it seem as though I am being encouraged to leave. This does not feel good and I hope that I will be proven wrong somehow. From where I stand, it’s a dishonor to stay in this position and it invites others to disrespect me if I go along with the derision as if it’s acceptable. I need to stop trying to catch a falling knife.
If there are any positive ideas or future changes which I am unaware of, now would be the time to share them with me. Otherwise this will serve as my notice to leave [company] and we should discuss an exit plan.

Best,

Goodbye Memo:

Dear Fellow Co-Workers:

"It's what we do." Remind yourself of this the next time an assignment is getting the best of you.

It has been an honor to count myself among you for the past five years. Working with the caliber of people who populate [company] is a privilege- take pride in being immersed in such a deep pool of talent. As the melancholy of leaving you eclipses the excitement of a new career, it's abundantly clear to me that five years have not been wasted. I leave you carrying a giant payload of personal growth, valuable experience, and great memories.

I humbly encourage everyone to test their limits- it's not possible to become better/faster/stronger if we do not. We all want to be strong. Fortunately, the limits we decide to test are in our control. Let's choose them wisely so that our adaptations are compatible with our goals. You’re the captain.

It is my hope to be considered as one who cares deeply about [company], as one who salutes those who try to be excellent, and that your actions say the same about you.

Best,

Thanks for reading.

There's less of me to go around..

Originally 10/15/10:

..and I mean it literally and figuratively and physically.. It's been nearly 2 months since my last contribution here, but I've become a bit overwhelmed with the amount of attention the internet requires from me. I'm now counting 8 or 9 blogs, plus 3 retail websites, a few social networking venues and of course horoscopes, news, weather, maps, five e-mail accounts, spam and youporn. Needless to say, your hero is spread pretty thin these days..
So a few hours after today's colonoscopy, my dear wife indicated with much amusement how helpless I looked in the recovery room.. that is.. high on drugs, tubes in my nose and arm, drooling on myself as I slowly regained consciousness.. and I couldn't resist asking her why she didn't right then and there take a picture and "Facebook it". Well apparently the idea did cross her mind but she refrained from exploiting my pain for your entertainment. Good girl.. It got me to thinking.. as we drove to the PTO meeting tonight- there must already be some good images of me injured or suffering that I can share.. and bingo! I remembered the self portrait I took of myself 4 years ago, in the ambulance after being hit by a car in Cranston while riding home from work. So after sending Ebru off to bed (she fell asleep while we watched our Netflix movie- "Guru") I resolved to find that picture and explain to you how, if that accident happened today I would have probably broken some bones.. At my annual physical this past Tuesday, I asked my doctor what my weigh-in was two years prior- 183.. one year ago- 173.. and two days ago.. drumroll..... 162 (fully clothed of course..) so at the time of this accident where I destroyed my helmet (I had blood coming out of my ear and I had stitches in my ear canal) I was about 25 pounds heavier, more cushioned with fat, perhaps even more muscular. I don't know how I would fare today in such a T-bone collision.. This morning I weighed in at 157, but of course this was in my birthday suit, and after an 18 hour period of liquid diet, Dulcolax and other bowel cleansing medications I was required to imbibe. I don't miss those extra 25 pounds. After disrobing for today's procedure and laying on the gurney, two nurses attended to my IV, blood pressure and oxygen.. when they took my pulse it was nice to hear them say "heartrate is 46- you are very fit!". Indeed, a big strong heart doesn't need to pump so often- it moves more blood with less work- an advantage which hopefully pays big dividends when I'm an old man. Ebru was with me in the recovery room today- and I don't remember a thing- but she says the alarm kept going off because my heart rate kept falling below 45. Sweet. If I never win another bike race ever again (I hear that stifled laughter- not cool), I still feel like I've won something priceless: more time on this planet with people who I love.. which assumes of course that a piano does not fall onto me or my plane does not crash or other unmentionable abbreviations of life do not occur to me..
I'm reaching an age where it's probably going to be hard resisting the urge to judge myself, judge my achievements, judge my health, judge my life's quality. So far I'm looking forward to the occasion, and hopefully many of the more difficult albeit correct choices I've made and hard work I've done for the past 10-20 years will continue to bear fruit. With so many blessings to count, age does not matter.
For those of you who wondered, my colonoscopy was a success- only one small polyp was found and removed.. and if/when I get my hands on a picture of it, hell yeah I'm going to Facebook it!
Thanks for reading.
Hoscakal.

Posted By Murat Altinbasak to Amerikan Turk™ at 10/14/2010 11:56:00 PM