FYI, For those trying to just hold on to whatever shred of sanity and dignity you have left in your office, keep on keeping on with these innocent office dares to make your skull-crushingly dull and boring work hours a little more lively....
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
TWO POINT DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts. And if that wasn't enough for you...
How to keep a healthy level of insanity:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7) Don't use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....
19) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this
Friday, October 31, 2008
I'm registered for Northhampton Saturday only in the 35+ 1/2/3. There are 81 pre-registered in my field and I plan to improve on last weekend's 51st place out of 57 starters at MRC Cyclocross. I don't know what's worse- getting lapped or being at the very bottom of the finishers, but I guess being given credit for "finishing" even when you're one lap down, is pretty cool. I saw that a few guys DNF'ed so there's always something worse than being lapped or DFL.
I was about 5 minutes into my commute this morning and a rider on the bike path passed me head-on. He said "Hi Murat" but my eyes were so glazed from the cold that I couldn't make out who it was or his uniform and it was too cold to stop. I wonder who that was..
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The bike path in Cranston (not to be confused with the very inferior, dangerous, narrow and slick with bird poo and covered with Gewilli's bike drippings East Providence Bike Path).. has been a carpet of foliage lately.. and as this fallen organic matter dehydrates, it sounds more and more like potato chips underfoot..
What is up with bluejays and squirrels? For two mornings in a row, I am finding not less than three of each congregated in a clearing, seemingly in cahoots on some level that I can't understand.
A ride home from work last night at 8:00 pm was indeed invigorating- and I did not take the shortcut- went the whole 12.5 miles.. though I did take the shortcut this morning. I'm lazy and have trouble convincing myself I've had enough sleep. Too much of something that feels so good, can't be a bad thing, right?.. except when you're cutting it too close and making yourself late for work. If I spend an extra 2-3 minutes looking for booties or keys or wallet, that's all it takes for me to relegate myself to taking the shortcut, which is only 9 miles and includes a hill that I don't like. Ha- as if there's one that I do like somewhere..
I'm proud of myself though- it takes more than a little bit of character and determination to get suited up extra early in the freezing cold for a 45 minute commute. Lately, since I'm no longer marching to the beat of the Powertap (though I don't like having to do manual workout entries- I'm trying to keep accurate TSS, CTL, and ATL levels maintained in Peaks software).. I find myself commuting less because of the need to add training volume, and more because I just love propelling myself forward on a bike to get where I need to be. It feels pretty good, once the initial shock of the cold passes and everything acclimates and you feel like you could go on for hours if you had time.. I arrive to work pumped with endorphins and grinning, as my astonished pear-shaped co-workers scratch their heads and wonder.. "why? what's the point?".. and 10-12 hours later I walk into the door at home the same way, smiling and as happy as a tornado in a trailer park..
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
I've decided to limit my bicycle repairs to flat tires, and that I will happily pay others to do everything else.
Thank you Providence Bike...
Now... Tomorrow.. Skinsuit or bibs? Shorn legs or hairy? DFL? or can an untrained Murat possibly beat one or more people to the line? What's a better goal: not being lapped or not being DFL? Not that I care.. Ok maybe a little.
I'm looking at buying a mountain bike very soon- going to race it in 2009- especially on those weekends when the crits are too far away, or there's nothing but hilly road races to pick from. Mike S and I did an epic four hour mtb ride Sunday at Big River. I used a demo bike from the shop, and liked it a lot. We were lost a few times and even had to resort to the infamous "Ride of Shame" down Route 3 when we lost our way completely. That sucked because I had about 25 pounds of air left in the rear wheel.. At any rate, look out Sport Class in 2009! (or cat 4 or whatever it's now called) Murat is racing on the dirt for first time- may it be great success..
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Note to self: Self-depracation is intended to completely remove any and all expectations of a top result, which could otherwise harmfully cause me to feel pressured and required to perform, thusly removing all of the fun from participation. If I have one secret goal, it's to avoid being lapped. How hard could that be?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
My wife and I run a small home based business selling these bikes, under the banner of WeeBike.com. We also co-sponsor my bike race team- Millwork One Racing and we fund a lot of the team benefits such as apparel, entry fees and prize matching. It was always my hope that my largest pool of customers would be bike racers who appreciate a high end starter bike for toddlers. If you're in the market for a LikeaBike- any model, please consider buying from a fellow racer who also supports bike racing with sponsorship dollars.
To do our part in the cancer war, (we lost my father to lung cancer this past May) I would like to offer all of the local racers here in New England a special deal. Since I normally ship these bikes for free all over the US, I will extend a $15 contribution to the cancer charity of your choice, if you buy a LikeaBike Jumper from me between now and December 31st. There is one caveat: The bike will be delivered in person, within Rhode Island state lines, at a location that is mutually convenient, such as a cross race, training ride meet-up, or at Providence Bike. The $15 I usually pay for shipping the bike goes to charity, in your name. A pretty good deal I think, and very green since we avoid using UPS. Please reach out to me if you're interested: firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, October 13, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Money quote: "Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword.."
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
Before I discovered bicycles, I enjoyed constructing build-it-yourself model cars, boats and airplanes. The brands were Monogram and Revell, if memory serves. The other night I'm suddenly excited about introducing our five year old to this hobby, and I'm convinced that at Toys R Us, I will find a full aisle of such model vehicles, for all skill levels, including the 'snap-together' type which I want to buy for my son Reis. What a disappointment. Nothing. And none of the little paint jars, brushes or cements either. Does this have anything to do with 'glue-sniffing' potentially becoming a childhood pastime?
On the plus side.. I found a couple of very cool vintage Matchbox cars: a 1965 Alfa Romeo Sprint GTA and a 1968 Citroen DS. Son and I had a disagreement when we got home when he claimed ownership and opened them both. I offered him a box of 20 cars at the store and he declined! Anyway, we agreed to "share" the two cars. My idea of sharing was to give him one of the two cars. His idea of sharing was to open both cars, let me look at them for about 10 seconds, and then run off with both.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Three notable things about this morning's commute:
1. A white-tailed deer bounded alongside of me on the bike path in Cranston, for about 1/4 mile. Big. Scary.
2. A car (per usual on Park Ave in Cranston) pulls in front of me from a driveway, hoping to be given an opening by other accommodating motorists. It didn't work out that way, and your hero was forced to squeeze the brakes, hard.
3. I rode the butt-ugly REDLINE 9-2-5 to combat the soaking wet roads. (Yes I own one of these) My mission, to get to work with dry feet and dry ass. Done and done. It's not a fixed gear at the moment though. I used it over the summer to occasionally tow our pride and joy in his trailer a la gewilli, which is unsafe to do in the fixie mode, I think.
Enjoy your day. Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
I stumbled upon this and laughed when I came to the part about Shireman beating Norton in the Cat 3 race by "a few moments". Cute. It was actually a photo finish, with Michael nipping Michael by less than a wheel. It was an exciting finish for sure. Anyways, I mainly wanted to show off the fact that I was a finisher in three events on that day, which translates to something like 120 laps around the 1 km course.