Smelly shoes: "This can't be healthy"

It was summer of 2005 when I bought the pair of cycling shoes which I use currently (I now realize)- a pair of DMT Ultramax Flash or something or other. My previous DMTs came apart after just a couple of rainy rides. This current pair though- I'm blown away by the durability. They were made in Bosnia, of all places, and let me tell you- these things have been soaked through at least 20 times in the past few seasons. I've changed the cleats on them for the 5th time. Still, they look pretty good and fit me superbly after three years of abusive use and crashes. I even put custom DIY insoles in there (the kind you heat in the oven) so they conform to my feet perfectly. Unfortunately, all of this rainy riding and stuffing them with newspaper overnight, has made these things smell hideous. I'm basically considering replacement for that reason alone, otherwise I can see these shoes lasting through next season. But there comes a point on the smell-o-meter where you have to say "Whoa, this can't be healthy". I can't imagine the vast numbers and varieties of microscopic friends who now accompany me on every ride. I'm thinking they probably weigh a lot more than they did when I bought them, kind of like a mattress, which gets heavier from use over the years. Gross.

I can't believe it's really been three years since I bought these. That's a blog post from when I first started out with my other blog, Amerikan Turk. Seems I got my money's worth ($139 actually)

Thanks.

Weekend of Rest

No ride Sat no ride Sunday. We went to Scarborough Beach today- it totally smelled like ass- I could not get myself to swim in that freezing smelly water. We didn't stay too long. I was tempted to do a lite easy spin on the bike, but I have to admit- I don't really feel like riding lately. The thought of training hard- I'm not into it like before. It's been eight hard months of training for me. No wins. No podiums. A fair amount of stress and depression. No real vacation to speak of. Borderline burnout. So I took Mon, Tues, Sat and Sun off the bike. No doubt I'll be paying for it in terms of speed, but maybe some freshness will make up for it. Since Attleboro/New Britain last weekend, I am dead tired and very lacking in motivation. So tired.. And no amount of sleep or rest is helping. What is wrong with me?
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Dead Legs

Skipped riding Monday and Tuesday. Commuted to/from work yesterday. (Even rode the bike to lunch) Also did a couple hours today after work. Threw in a couple of back to back 3 minute FT intervals. They hurt a lot more than they should have. Am I going to be flying after this rest week? I'm beginning to wonder. Next "A" race in my crosshairs: the Rochester Omnium Weekend, the 35+ crit, that is. August 9th. There's some other stuff before then, but none are A or even B events for me.
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The Jouney Ends

It has been an epic trip for my family, one which began on May 23rd and which ends today, in one hour. Once today's page is turned, it's as though a chapter has ended. It's time for an intermission. For any of you who have followed me on this journey, who have prayed for me to be strong, who have shared in my sorrow and mourned the loss of my father with me, who have imagined themselves beside me on my breath taking bike rides on the coast or in the mountains, who have cared for me deeply enough to leave me supportive comments or write me privately: I salute you and offer my sincere Thanks and Love. I now sit here at Boston Logan Airport's Terminal E, sipping coffee and sitting front row of the arrivals gate. With an hour or so before wife Ebru and son Reis emerge through the doors marked 'No Entry', what else is left to do besides try to conjure up a happy ending? Regrettably, I don't have any such words to offer at the moment.
Healing is not a destination, it's a journey. Healing is repair. Healing makes what was broken, stronger than it was before. In order for my father to build his first kanun from scratch, he needed to break his 25 year old kanun down into a pile of broken wooden parts, in order to know how to build one himself. And when we bike racers ttake punishingly fast training rides, perform eye popping intervals and leg breaking climbs, we're also destroying things in order for them to be rebuilt stronger, in order to force an adaptation which makes us better, faster, more powerful.. And never were the six words I now live by more compelling and beautiful than when Father began chemotherapy treatment, which pumps a harmful poison into the body in a sort of scorched earth manner, killing most of the bad cells but also devastating some of the good.. Like a controlled forest fire. I saw what he went through and I saw him fight and never give up. I saw him down, and I saw him getting kicked while he was down. I've even kicked him a few times myself, long ago.. I saw him getting back up over and over and over again. No matter how hard he hit the deck.. He was my champion.. And he is sorely missed.
From all of this, no one has become as enriched as I have.. No one.. And now, these six words ring as true as ever:
"We are created, by being destroyed."
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New Britain Criterium 2008 Results

Again, I do not have them all, sorry.

Ivan Basso, or not?

A friend who I went to high school with, below, claims to be hanging out with Ivan Basso someplace out west- Utah I think.. I told him he was FOS and he sent me a picture on Facebook, below. Is there any doubt that this is indeed Ivan Basso?

New Britain Pro-Am

43rd in the Pro race, for what it's worth.. 91 starters, 69 finishers. Just cruised in the field the whole time. Little tiny bit of cramp with 2 to go.. But that's 80 miles of crit racing bro.. Nothing to be ashamed of.. 90 percent of that field had fresh legs. I had already raced 40 miles.

Updated** New Britain Criterium: 15th

Hopes, dashed. I was in the winning break of the 35+ race. I'm in rotation with 7 other guys and I'm on the wheel of some dildo who keeps sprinting when he gets to the front. Last I checked, accelerations in a paceline are supposed to happen at the BACK, not at the fucking front. Blew my fucking wad as he kept gapping me, which means that not only am I taking a pull, I'm sucking wind all during Dildo's pull too. I'm so pissed at myself for letting the situation throw me.. I should have just pushed the fucker into the grass and said goodbye.. Not that I'm capable of any such behavior.. But that's what I wish I had done. A top 8 result was locked up for me, and I ended up drifting back with 5 to go. Yeah it's true that yesterday's three crits are still heavy in my legs.. But I didn't feel THAT bad. With one lap to go, I could see that Mike N was not happy about missing the break. He got one of his domestiques to uncork an incredible acceleration which left the whole field in their wake, big gap, with me in between. I turned myself inside out on the back stretch to get on Mike's wheel. I got close, but never made it. Up through the chicane, I was alone and flying (maybe not alone.. maybe I was the lead out for the field, I didn't turn my head). I dove into the final corner as fast as humanly possible, but the needle was almost on empty at this point. The wind was GUSTING diagonally all day, and the final straight was into a fierce cross-head wind. I unloaded everything I had left in the final straight and I was passed by six guys by the time I crossed the line. With the seven places up the road and Mike N taking a very hard earned 8th, that put me in 15th spot, just a few places off of my 2007 result. (2007 I was 12th in the field sprint, which I lead out. Today I was 6th in the field sprint which I also lead out, so a marginal improvement this year, relative to 2007)

The 30+ which followed- Another break, which went very early. The field was letharic and I was feeling okay.. but then I made a bone headed move on the final lap, right in the start finish- I attacked and took a flyer. I was swallowed and spit out the back with 1/2 lap to go.. What was I thinking? Maybe that my legs were not totally fried from racing 5 times in the past 24 hours? Stupid me.. Finished pretty much DFL. There was a 7 man break up the road, and sprinting for 8th didn't seem too interesting. Only 35 or so starters anyway.. I'm bummed right now.. But I'm resting up for the Pro race which starts in about an hour. Just want to motorpace that one and maybe sneak into the top 20 somehow. That might make me feel better.

Hindsight, it's stupid to do so many races and expect to be fresh enough for a good result. Skip race no 1, let everyone lose their freshness and jump into the 2nd race. Yesterday, Bill Y did just that at Attleboro and won. Didn't tire himself out racing the 35+ and the Pro race. My 6th at Keith Berger two weeks ago was no accident. Mine was the race after the 40+, so 1/2 the field was tired and hurting. They happily let the break go, and with my fresh legs I had a big advantage. I already knew this stuff, but I just love to race. Guess I should be happy with my mediocrity. I'm diluting my ability across too many events, by choice. Maybe it's time to adjust the game plan for the rest of the season. Skip the first Master race, do the 2nd one with guns blazing. Do what works for a change. Thanks for reading

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Updated 9:55 pm

Attleboro Criterium 2008 Results

Sorry no results from the Cat 3 or 4 race, though I can tell you that Christian Eager of Quad Cycles won the cat 3 race, and did it nicely. Here's a video of that finish:
As for me, I used today as a tune up for tomorrow's New Britain Criterium. Not to say I didn't try today- I did.. but I didn't turn myself inside out for a result either. In the 35+ I felt like a P.O.S. and got 22nd. In the Pro-1-2 I had hardly any water, and after 30 very easy minutes motorpacing the field, I had to quit or risk dehydration. In the 30+ I felt a little better and got 10th in that one, which sounds great, but only 29 finished. I was feeling good about it until I discovered that the 10 places which were advertised on Bikereg were changed to 8 places. Why there are two different race flyers? I have N.F.I. but it was a buzz-kill. A good day at the races. Our Matt Kressy took 8th in the Pro race and Kyle Gates took 11th in the 35+. Adam got himself into a couple of strong looking breaks but they didn't stick. We had Joe, Scott and Brendan in the cat 3 race, we had Brendan and Scott in the 30+ race, Mike Samartano in the 35+ race and I discovered later that he hit the deck in that one. I hope he's in one piece.

Tour of the Hiltons

As pro-promoter as I'd like to be, here is a case where mediocre aging cat 2's are pretty much boned: 2008 Tour of the Hiltons. (sp.. deliberate) Sometimes I feel like the six year old who wishes he were twelve, or in this case, forty. Not.. that.. I.. can climb or anything.. If I was a gifted or even a mediocre climber, I'd look at this and pass. Who pays $35 to race 97 miles for the chance to win part of an $800 purse? If it's all about the glory, fine.. I love race promoters, don't get me wrong. Just don't require me to love their races. It would appear I am most certainly not racing on July 26th.. but I encourage everyone ELSE to go for it. Have a ball. I'll be at the beach.

For Future Reference

I find myself ranked suspiciously high right now, but these rankings evolve on a daily basis, depending upon new results added and 12 month old results falling off the average. I am perhaps the only one who looks to this list as a motivator, but I doubt it. In a few days, my 2007 New Britain results will drop off, hopefully to be replaced with some fine placings at Attleboro and New Britain next weekend. See where I stand now.

On a national scale of masters criterium racers, I find myself ranked 233 out of 4307 Masters. Here's the complete list. Nega-Coach is sure to chime in and tell us that everyone except for the top three on the list, suck.. or that they suck the least.

MapMyFitness

Hey this site doesn't work half bad- it got the mileage almost spot on. Looking back upon my Powertap files, I find that the last time I did a ride of 250 TSS or more, was June 12th in Turkey. Then there was yesterday. I did the little 56 mile loop that I like so much. I wouldn't call it time trial pace, it was more like "tempo trial" pace- something I can sustain without cramping, without needing to slow down and without tasting puke. To complete this ride in the time that I did it in, I had to force it on the climbs, and I did every single hill in the big ring. Of course I blew away my old PR by over 2 minutes too. Here's the route below, which may be hard to understand because it doubles back upon itself in a few places for short periods:

Not a drop of rain during all of this.. I came home after 2:47:17 on the bike, and then went back out for another 15 minutes to spin and cool down.. and to make it an even 60 miles/3 hours. This ride should pay dividends later on. Having skipped Fitchburg (per usual for me) I wanted to do a ride which was at least comparable in duration to what everyone raced today up in Mass.. (though my route climbs only 2500' total) I don't think I can repeat the effort today. My legs are really cooked. If anything I'll do a few hours in the little ring, take a trip down to Narragansett Beach or Scarborough with my backpack. Put my feet in the sand.. lay down and relax.. assuming it stops raining.

Nin-regrets

I was supposed to do two hours of endurance pace tonight, but I needed my fix of pointless hammering on a flat, enclosed track with 50 other like minded folks, so I headed down to Ninigret to see what I could find. A light field- by virtue of the absence of many heavy hitters- presumably due to Fitchburg and Masters Nationals this weekend.. but there were still the usual pain-cave dwellers.. or I should say, the ones who put me in my pain cave..
Nothing much to report besides spending as much time as humanly possible at the front, suffering immeasurably.. Then an unfortunate event- our man Brendan stacked it up in the sharp leftie, or should I say in "Murat's corner".. A few of us stopped to make sure he wasn't road kill.. just some epidermal deletions that looked like scrambled eggs. Yum. So I got to take a lap's rest with about 6 to go. Once we knew Brendan wasn't going to die on us, I jumped back into the action and gave a few digs at the front for the remaining 5 laps. Kudos to brother Rick K for separating himself from our chase group and soloing home. I tried to reach, I pulled off looking for help with 1/2 lap to go, and the boys just didn't have it to bridge. Nice. Good times were had by all (except Brendan.. for whom bathing will now SUCK for many days)

Caught out

A pretty intense workout was scheduled for last night, and I was sick of the same old roads, and I was in the mood to be near the water, so I went out to route 1 in Warwick and headed south towards the beaches. Once onto route 1A in North Kingstown I started the "micro-burst" intervals. Which go like this:

15 sec @ 150% FT

15 sec @ 50% FT

Repeat for 5:00

Recover 5:00

Repeat intervals for 10:00

Recover 5:00

Repeat intervals for 10:00

It's not as easy as it sounds! 150% of FT is similar to CP3, so it's a hard effort- similar to the accelerations you would do after turning the corner in a crit, but seated. By the end of the third set of ten minutes, I was thrashed, and tasting puke.

So I made it all the way to Narraganset Town Beach- where I pulled a u-turn during one of my 15 second rest intervals- no time to swim.. Nice tailwind home.. but not strong enough to get me home before dark. Caught out in the dark wihtout even a blinky. Thought about stopping at NBX Bikes or Casters to grab one, but I don't think either of them were open when I flew past. Nice workout though- 51 miles in about 2:40.. No flats, no motor vehicle altercations, no rain- even though the air became quite thick and heavy in Narragansett.

2008 Keith Berger Criterium Results

Brought to you by Millwork One Racing and WeeBIKE.com:

The rest of the story..

Those of you who witnessed the heartbreak of Wild Bill Yabroudy getting caught with only a few laps to go in the Cox Crit yesterday.. He's so over it.. To wit, today he won BOTH the Keith Berger 40+ AND the 30+ which followed. I was in the 30+ break with him and I can tell you that he always took the strongest and longest pulls out of all of us. I can't say much for the draft benefit he offers though.. I'm a fat lard ass and he's 95 percent lean... Another class act was Patrick Ruane. Not only did he lap the masters field last week in New London, not only did he win at Cox yesterday and get 2nd in the 40+ today.. He turns to us in the chase/break with three to go and offers to lead out the sprint for us, because he had already gotten some cash for 2nd in the 40+. How do you not respect such a gesture? True to his word, he took the front for the entire final lap.. Patrick's a good man..
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Keith Berger Criterium 30+

Good news today!
I went right from the gun. Never saw the field again. Took the first prime. Got in the early break of 9 with 22 left to go. Whittled down to 5 of us with 15 to go. I got a little tired and had to let the other 4 roll away from me, but I kept my head down for about 6 laps solo. I couldn't risk blowing up so I kept it steady. Two chasers caught up to me (Patrick Ruane and another) and we drilled it nice and easy to the end. I had the final sprint for 5th in the bag but I pulled out of my right pedal with about 100m to go. Clipped back in and buried myself, threw the bike and took 2nd in the sprint, 6th overall, out of 41 finishers. Patrick was 7th by a hair (after leading it out for the last lap)
Finally a decent result! I'm happy. This feels good for a change. Thanks for reading.

You never truly realize..

How losing a parent knocks you on your ass, how fucking heart breaking and isolating it feels, and how much you will miss those departed, until it happens to you. Nothing can prepare you for that hollow empty feeling of loss, the unpredictable and spontaneous fits of crying, the opposite of happiness that overcomes you in crushing waves..
Such loss also reveals things you could not see before.. Stuff you don't want to acknowledge, truths which you refuse to accept.
Ask yourself why you love to do "x" activity so much. The obvious answers eclipse the real answer..and when the real answer is no more, the obvious ones are suddenly not so compelling. Enough said?

The late irfan Altinbasak is on the far left.

New Millwork One Team Member: Murat Akyazi

Our team is now 'International' in the true sense of the word. Meet Murat Akyazi- 33 year old Master, training and racing in Bursa, Turkey. While I was there this spring, I rode with many people. But in terms of being impressed with riding ability, character, kindness and class, Murat outshined everyone else. The M1 Racing kit he's using replaces the tattered one he'd been using for years. My sister will be flying over in a couple of weeks, and she's taking a special care package over there for me. Some good tires, tubes, arm warmers, rain jacket, etc etc.. If we're going to support a rider we may as well do it properly, or not at all! Take note of the absolutely pristine-condition Peugeot frameset. Welcome aboard, Murat!

Ninigret Crit

Just returned from a kick-ass training race. No result to speak of but good power numbers attest to the fact that I did lots of work and got the most possible training benefit. In fact, I kind if sat up with 1/3 lap to go, having spent the previous two laps turning myself inside out chasing various breakaways. It was a good race. Our team had an impressive turn-out and everyone looked as solid as ever. Whoever let our Lynn borrow a helmet- many thanks! With eight guys up the road in the break, I didn't feel like sprinting for 9th place- not a good idea. Brendan H offered to lead it out for me but I passed, even though my chances of taking that field sprint were excellent. It's alright. Save it for the weekend I guess. It's gonna be a hell of a knife fight in Providence on Saturday! Yes Turkey lost 3-2 to Germany in the UEFA Euro 2008 Semi Finals. Kind of heartbreaking, but anyone who has followed the games will tell you that the Turkish team is the one which made these finals exciting. It was an excellent match, and Turks should be proud to have reached the final four out of 50 or so teams. So it goes. I went to harrass Gewilli today at his place of employment [I had carpenters working there today], but he was MIA at 9:00 am. Bankers hours at that place! - he has got it made, let me tell you. Hehe.