Thursday, December 10, 2009
I'm done with the "Spinning" classes at the Kent County YMCA, seriously. The trainers are fun-lovable and all, but when I recently asked the alpha-in-charge instructor about being a substitute instructor [for free] I was given a boatload of bullshit such as "you would need to apprentice with me for a few classes". Fuck. Coming from this person, this is quite an insult because s/he sucks at instructing spinning class, and uses the worst possible music ever. When I offered to do some private classes this person had the nerve to inform me that my guests would be required to pay $25 to $30 each for the privilege of using their cramped smelly spin room, which definitely violates life safety codes. Why is insulting my intelligence so fashionable? Sometimes I play the fool to avoid intimidating people, and they are so easily fooled that I should be on broadway I guess.. Back when there was an awesome Union Velo spin class at the Attleboro YMCA, all we had to pay for the private class was $5 each. So I'm contemplating writing an e-mail to this person with words designed to injure, but my calm gentle nurturing demeanor prevails. I could remind them that I donated about $6000 worth of brand new cabinetry to them early this spring, but that would be wrong.. Yes I am indeed a certified Spinning instructor- I took an all day class and read a manual. It's not rocket science, and besides, if you have hundreds of hours of indoor intervals under your belt and understand about perceived exertion and heart rate zones, you are already 1/2 way there.. There's more to it of course- technique, hand positions, music selection, an ability to inspire people to suffer. Oh well. My new Spinning class is the Bally's North Providence. After tonight's excellent workout (I felt like I could rip the cranks right of the bike tonight, after recovering from the torture which NBX GP of Cross put me through this past weekend) I went to the front desk and asked for an application. I won't deny that Bally's has a lot more eye candy and that people seem to go there as much to ogle each other as to work out, but the hormonal surges which are induced undoubtedly make people push a little bit harder, and help them do that extra repetition. Well I 'm way off into the weeds again. All I really wanted to tell you is that NBX toughened the shit out of me and pretty much lit the fuse of my 2010 training plan. I rode like a man possessed in my Spinning class tonight. If you have never tried a Spinning class, it's much like a cross race in duration and intensity, except that you're riding a fixed gear and enjoying the sweaty cleavage and exposed tramp stamps which surround you. Just sayin'.. Thanks for reading.