Drumroll please..

My eagerness to dish up photos caused me to forgot to tell you the story of my race. This was my first 2/3 cross race ever. I was a trooper, I started at the very back per usual.. and after a few laps, instead of the usual "ride at my own pace all by myself" bullshit, I hooked up with 3-4 guys and stayed glued to them! This required me to push deep into the pain cave occasionally, primarily after the run-ups, where I am absolutely horrible. At any rate, just before completing lap 4- I did a power slide into the last left hand corner with my front wheel- a miracle that I didn't dump it hard. The two guys on my wheel had to squeeze the brakes. After going through the finish, my front tire turned to mush- and in no time, it was down on the rim. So approaching the first and more difficult sand pit, I'm done, or so I thought. We're not lapped at this point.. Hopes were dashed. I told my drop-mates about the flat and the immediate reply was "Lucky bastard". Hehe. So I shoulder the bike and run it all the way around the course to the pits. Watching me run is like watching a horror show, but I make it. A very quick neutral wheel change follows my clumsy prancing over the barriers and I'm off. Unfortunately, I lost some big time here and got myself lapped by the leaders a little beyond that muddy off camber corner. (2 to go changes to 1 to go, of course) By the time I reached the 2nd sand pit, a few more guys went past. From there I just held my meager speed and finished my 5th lap in exactly 45 minutes flat. I used the Polar HRM, and the data says that I reached 189 bpm on 3 or 4 occasions, and that I averaged 175 bpm for the 45 minutes. To wit: I should admit here that this was the most fun I've had in a cross race, and I'm wondering if maybe it was because I was in the 2/3 field and not the Masters 1/2/3 field. It seemed to me that these younger riders were more interested in having fun than in beating each other's brains out. End result- 64th place out of 67 finishers and 73 starters. Thanks for reading.

Canada's tolerance for obesity

Read about how obesity is rewarded in Canada while others are charged 90 Euros to bring back an extra suitcase of what remains of their dead father's belongings. -uck you Lufthansa.

Back on the wagon!

..or fell back off of it, depending upon your opinion of Power Meters.. For the past couple of months, your hero has been manually entering mileage, duration and even estimations of average power into his Peaks software. This was so that I could maintain some semblance of correctly maintained data which represents my TSS and the running averages called CTL and ATL. I thought the Powertap was kaput when all this time it was nothing but a broken wire near the shark fin. I crimped the two together- it's ugly, but it works. I'll add a pic later. Data is so intoxicating. I promise to share as many power charts as my time allows, from now until the next wire breaks.
Here, get used to seeing a lot of this in 2009.

Viga rocks

Many thanks to my friend and team mate Rick Gervais for introducing me to Viga. I'm in my car horking down a serving of chicken Pomodoro.. This is sooooo good. Their pizza is excellent too. Look it up: Viga Italian Eatery. Walking distance from my projects on Beacon Street.

Is there a contest?

I'm at Harvard for an appt but the fire alarms went off and everyone's outside. Standing near the dozens of bikes these students and faculty ride around campus, it seems as though there's competition to have the crappiest, least maintained Piece of Shit humanly possible. Homeless people have been observed riding better bikes. There's a Schwinn "Le Tour" from the early 80s with what appear to be the original tires on it. Do these college pukes have any self respect? If you can afford this tuition, you can afford a bike that doesn't suck this badly, I think. There are limits to what is considered safe to ride.. 

Time to kick off the indoor training

If not for falling asleep at 8:30 with my son last night, I was going to set up the windtrainer, bring the LOOK indoors and even try to splice together the broken wires of my Powertap shark-fin wire. Oh well. Extra rest and sleep never hurt, so I'll be doing it tonight instead, which will kick off the real beginning of my 2009 road season. Joy.. What I'm less certain about is whether I want to race at Goddard this weekend. Lately I'm not so gung-ho about it.. but that could change quickly. Money's tight. I can't deny my son's request for a Hot Wheels Trick-Track Triple Stunt Starter Set and then blow $60 on entry fees, at least not without some guilt..

Crappy Weather = Rest Day

I'm glad I did my 3-1/2 hours yesterday- it's wet and miserable today. Despite Sunday rides offered to me by my teammates and others, I decided to take rest and get some extra sleep. I'll add the Polar chart later on. So I left the house at 7:00 am Sat to make it to Sophies on Route 2 at 8:00. I was right on time, give or take 2 minutes. Nobody was around.. I had pretty much lost all hope right then and there. Took off my glove unzipped the jacket and retrived the Crackberry so I could e-mail J-Lo "where r u?" Hoping of course that he carried one also. Before I could even hit SEND, a train of yellow-orange-red came streaming out from behind Sophies, where I did not bother to look. They all turned right onto route 2, seemingly oblivious to me as I stood there- unzipped, ungloved and unprepared to jump onto the train. No worries- I sorted myself out and chased up to them before we hit route 138. It's always a lot of fun to meet up with the Arc crew. What sucks is that it's a one hour ride to get to Sophies, and I generally try to stay close to the house when it's very cold, so I always feel a little vulnerable and paranoid when I'm so deep into Southern RI. To wit, after riding with them for an hour Saturday, I was already into my 3rd hour and it took almost 90 minutes to get home after that- all on Route 3 north which, as I'll show you later, isn't at all flat.
Time to break out the rollers and wind trainer- looks like the weather is going to suck for a while.

I was right

It took 90 minutes before I felt comfortable- toes got quite chilly, but 51 miles and 3:08 later, I was home, feeling good, feeling thankful, and very hungry. I'll post a Polar chart of the ride later on, if the mood strikes. Avg HR was 155. My race form is clearly kaput- I'm re-building base fitness. Nine days off the bike when I had the flu the other week, really hurt what little form I had left.

Turkey Day- Ride yourself to caloric deficiency..

..then add it on two-fold at dinner..
Thursday morning at 8:00 am: Holy Apostles Church at the corner of Route 12 and Pippin Orchard Road (same place where everyone meets Tuesday and Thursday nights, see below) We'll depart from the church at 8:00 and most likely head north towards 116 and take a left turn onto Peeptoad and end up criss-crossing back towards western Coventry. Chances are, I'll be doing this ride all by myself. Prove me wrong! 8:00 am Thursday Holy Apostles Church! See below.

View Larger Map

Chris Hoy: Man vs Machine

I don't know why this reached my INBOX at work.. Click to enlarge.
See www.raceofchampions.com for ticket details.

What a mistake

To think that I could ride an hour each way, to hook up with a 3 hour ride in that cold was very poor judgment on my part. Not only was I off the bike for 9 days prior, I just emerged from a week of having a very bad cold, it was 20 degrees when I left the house, and I went to meet up with a group of guys who like to trounce the hills of Rhode Island once a week. It's bad enough that I don't climb well and that I'm out of form- it's also 20 degrees out. Add to this I'm 20 minutes early to the meeting point- thanks to mis-judging the distance and a tailwind. I did laps up and down the street to keep warm. Then the toe warmers I got for such a great deal at Marshalls- they suck. So by the time we roll off at 9:00 or whatever I'm an icicle. In weather like this, I usually stay close to home, so in case I get too cold I can bail and be home in 20-30 minutes, tops. To break this golden rule of sub-freezing winter riding- very dumb of me. The time off the bike was no help- my left knee started to hurt before I even got to Venda Ravioli. Then I panicked and tried to nurse it a little bit, making the right knee share in the hurt. Then our little group of five started hitting some gradual climbs and the right knee went berserk. Near the top of the first longish climb- one which I'm completely unfamiliar with- I can't push on the right knee any more and I let a gap open. Took my head right out of it at that point, and being near a local road which I knew would take me home in about an hour (route 116), I pulled a u-turn and spun home. Today my knee hurts just to walk. I'm feeling my age.. Needless to say, this ride was incompatible with me on so many levels, when Gewilli turned to me and said "why?".. the easiest answer was to just say "cold". When I got home about an hour later, it was still only 28 degrees out. 2-1/2 hours was enough. Had I stayed with those guys (Nathan, Aaron, Mark and Gewilli) my knees would be completely trashed and I would have ended up doing 4+ hours. Enough stupidity prevailed that I had to draw the line somewhere. On the bright side, making promises to ride with others is a good way to force your ass outside into the freezing cold, where you might otherwise say -uck it and just sleep in. From that standpoint- no regrets. I'll try again in a few weeks when the knee re-adapts to harder stresses.

A Solution For You!

The G-Diddy

Not only did I co-populate his office with a pre-announced visit coinciding with some work that his employer has hired me to do for them, I also got wrestled to the floor and my camera forcibly removed from my clenched fist when I threatened to shoot a pic of the slovenly mess he calls his desk. Err, I made up that last part, about the wrestling. So.. yeah not only did I get to see his monotone looking Giant cross-bike-turned-commuter with squishy Schwalbe tires weighing a kilo each occupying 1/2 of the floor space in the room, I also promised to do an epic three hour hilly ride with him on Sunday. I hope I live to tell about it, and not hear about how those tires slowed him down.. Hills in November, go figure. Like me, G-Diddy has hacked off the lion's-mane-which-can't-be-tamed, which is pictured here. I'm gonna get an earful for this one, but this pic isn't marked 'private' or anything in his Flickr account, so why not.

Know Your Rivals...

..so says the coolest road racing website I've found, at least since discovering that USA Cycling used a ranking system which ranked me higher than I deserve credit for.. (hey it works for golfers, why not for us?) One clear weakness of USA Cycling which know your rival excels at, is giving you a compilation of results for an entire team. I love it! Especially because you can filter those results by category, by team member, by placing (how many times did your team get 4th place?) or by race (road race, crit, tt). Very cool to play with the data.. Below is a compilation of all of my team's criterium results in 30+ Masters events:Now for the very interesting data. Know your rival will also give you a report of who you are most commonly shouldering, hooking, elbowing, cursing, and trying to pass when there's 100 meters to go.. Here's my list of rivals:
There are still some things which need to evolve a little more- our team's website isn't listed for example, and neither is our parent club, GVCC. My 18th place result at the Blue Hills Classic is missing too- but that's most likely because I registered 'day-of' and this almost always guarantees that someone will mis-spell my name, my team or my license number (that's an inadvertant plug for Bikereg- your personal and team data is always consistent and spelled right- meaning no missing results) I expect that the blanks will slowly be filled in over time- it depends on the owner of the site having the continued resolve of a Buddhist monk. I hope it continues because it's informative and entertaining to tool around with. It's going to be interesting to see the condensed results of particular teams, those other than my own that is. Give it a try. Look up any team's results, then filter it to narrow it down to age, category, wins, or even particuar events.

1989 Albany Tulip Festival Criterium

By popular demand of one reader: Your hero from 20 years ago- the Torpado SLX in action. Yeah that's me racing the thing, being tailed by a very well oiled Aaron Newland and his team of teenage dudes with matching kits, matching bikes, matching helmets and even "clipless pedals".. Notice I'm still using my Alfredo Binda straps and my Mavic GEL280s with Clemente Super Criterium Silk tubies on there.. IIRC, George Hincapie won this junior race without breaking a sweat. I sprinted to 4th place (have a pic of that somewhere). Distinctly remember having to lie down after that race from cramps and how all my insides started spasming, I tried so damn hard. I still have the prize money envelope somewhere, probably the race number too. I remember being astonished about getting $60 for 4th place and loving it. Back then, I didn't have a skinsuit, so I'd tuck my GVCC jersey into my shorts and discreetly safety pin them together in a few places. Voila- the poor man's skinsuit is born.
Found it: Murat sprints for 4th, but it feels like a win. Mr. red/yellow threw his bike too early. Click to enlarge.

If you're wristwatch is the accessory which says the most about you..

..Then mine must say that I hate myself. I'll post a picture of it tonight. Although, to be fair, I used to use a SEIKO, which is the company which came up with the above tripe in the first place.
To be continued.

Now that I think of it, the heading shows you my previous watch- a Seiko Automatic which I got on Ebay for $50. The reason I don't wear it now is because I broke the strap in a fit of rage- I was at Dunkin Donuts on route 138, on my way to the Ninigret Crit, running late of course. Everyone behind the counter was serving the -ucking drive thru customers and us schmucks in side the store were being ignored. I said something profane and flung the door open to get out, using my wristwatch as leverage. The strap broke. It's still good- needs one of those spring loaded pins. My wife bought me this travesty of a timepiece when I jokingly told her I always wanted a calculator watch. So you see, my watch says that I love my wife.

Who wants to do a Spring Training Camp!?

in TURKEY!! Serious. I'm setting it up.

Update. This is not a joke. Flights from Boston are about $1000, but I expect there to be promotions in the spring. I am looking to have base at either the seaside town of Mudanya, which is close to tons of spectacular roads that I'm very familiar with, or at an all inclusive resort in Antalya, which will cost more and be quite luxurious. We've been to a few and never been less than astonished at the quality of the food and the amenities. I don't know the roads as well, but Antalya has the added benefit of being warmer in April (think Florida), and having more local attractions like rafting and mountain bike tours. The bottom line is that I am definitley going, same as last year, and probably for two weeks straight. One week in Mudanya/Bursa and one week in Antalya. I came back from Turkey last year in very solid form. Think about it. This idea will develop more if people show me some interest. Otherwise, I suppose I'm on my own, which is fine and dandy. I'd rather share the experience though!

Feeling crap-tastic!

Energy levels are way down. I'd pop a vitamin if they didn't give me such heartburn. Did anyone watch the CNN Special last night on the Jonestown mass suicide? 300+ little kids had cyanide squirted down their throats from a syringe, by their -ucking parents. I'd always heard snippets here and there about this trajedy, but last night I got a two hour dose of it, including tape recordings and video footage from 30 years ago. What a sad story. Kool-Aid will never taste the same again.

Even MORE Boring Commute Stuff

Well it finally caught up to me- the nasty cold that both wife and son have been fighting for about a week has infected me on a low level, making my breathing a little scratchy. I was bragging to my wife the other day about how my superior fitness, adaptation to the cold weather and my bike commuting was supposedly protecting me in some way from getting sick the same way that they were. I still think that if I was a sedentary person, I would have been a lot sicker, a lot sooner. Right now I'm just feeling some nuisance symptoms, most notably sore leg muscles and overall tiredness. I rode in to work this morning taking the shortcut (which turns out to be 7.5 miles, not 9) It was warmer this morning than yesterday, but it felt 10 degrees colder. I don't plan to ride home tonight or ride at all tomorrow, especially if the weather predictors are accurate and it rains. It's time to take it easy, rebuild, recover, rest. I've been riding pretty consistently for a few weeks- twice a day usually, not with any great intensity, but with enough volume and variation that I've made myself tired, wound up the spring a little bit. Race this weekend? Not in the rain, so Saturday's out, and not sick, so Sunday's a remote possibility. I recently showed y'all a vid and pics of my serene bike path commute with ankle high foliage concealing the actual road. Yesterday morning it was still there. On my commute home last night, it was all completely cleaned up- like freshly shorn legs. That is, until I reached the West Warwick town line. The suckiness envelopes you the instant you enter West Warwick. I don't know why I live there sometimes..

Map My Ride: More Boring Commute Crap

This is how I roll to work.. except when I'm late, then I take the shortcut, which is pretty easy to imagine.

Rides a Ten Speed Everywhere Guy

This was on TBS last night and I managed to hit the record button on my DVR in time to get the whole episode. This is a cheesy recording of my LCD tv screen, but I lack the proper equipment and this will have to suffice. It's still funny. There's more to hear than there is to see anyway.

Rides a Ten Speed Everywhere Guy from Murat Altinbasak on Vimeo.

it's a great way to stay in shape..

Cranston Bike Path from Murat Altinbasak on Vimeo.

A Normal Weekend

No need for filling up the gas tank. No driving for hours. No getting up at the crack of dawn. No money spent on registration. No dead last start position. No dead last finishing result. No getting lapped, tasting puke, hoisting/carrying of bicycle, falling down, broken bike or ruined apparel. None of that..
While many of you were still driving to some 'venue' in order to do a zone 5 mass start time trial in the mud, I was out at 8:15 am doing what bike racers do when there's no racing that's worth racing- I trained for 2 hours 10 minutes out on the beautiful, dry and sunny roads of western RI. I covered the first 2/3 of my typical three hour route, then my better judgment reminded me that I haven't done any riding of more than one hour in many many weeks, so I ended it at about 40 miles and got home at 10:25. I took a nice hot shower while many of you chumps were still suiting up, or driving to, or paying for.. the mass hysteria known as psychocross.

2008 Harlem Rocks Criterium Redux

I know that I've already delivered a race report on the Harlem Rocks Criterium, but I realized that my sister was there with me shooting pictures of the Pro event and caught the wicked crash in the final sprint- the one where the kid who won, lost control and had a spectacular fall. My sister caught it with the rapid fire setting of her camera. See below. As for me, I look back upon this race and regret being such a weenie in the final lap. With one to go, I was first across the line, but I remind my readers that it rained buckets just moments before our start, and 30 guys DNFed with crashes- it was a bloodbath. I was pumped and primed for this race, feeling great the entire time, but when guys started dive bombing the wet corners with one to go, I did not fight for my position and ended up finishing anonymously at 18th. There's always 2009- I'll be back there. For now, I leave you with Eric Barlevav:

Chipotle is lip-smacking good

I go out of my way sometimes, to do business with companies which support cycling and bike racing. It's no challenge at all when it comes to Chipotle. If you have not tried one of their overstuffed burritos with the hot green chile sauce, you are missing out. If you've seen the Chipotle kits with the burrito 'in the jersey pocket'- it's misleading. Those burritos have a girth that is equal to their length. You would NOT EVER put one of these gut busters in any pocket. There's a Chipotle on Route 2 in Warwick, right across from Panera and the new Trader Joe's, which I haven't checked out yet.

45 and counting

I started out only able to do 20, now as of yesterday I can do 45 push ups. Tomorrow I'll try for 50, on my way to 100 push-ups, like I used to do without stopping, long ago. Now for a wet fender-bike ride to work! Joy.
::pause while I ride in to work::
Okay I made it in one piece- they say drizzle, but it feels like rain when you're riding as fast as I am. Two things: it feels like the cranks or pedals on my Redline are bent. I don't know if maybe they're straight and my other two bikes are bent. Maybe there's an alignment tool that can check this out. Anyway, the other thing I noticed is that the freewheel on the Redline is a pretty big gear. I took the 9 mile shortcut this morning, and it includes a punchy little climb. I usually grind up the thing seated, because my messenger bag swings all over the place if I stand. Today I skipped the mess bag, and so I was able to climb standing. There is no way I'd make it up that hill seated without injuring a tendon or something.
So yeah I'm in the office all day today. Yesterday was a death march through Boston. I had to go to three jobsites: One at the Harvard Art Museaum, then to another Harvard project on Oxford Street, and finally my crown jewel 11 floor luxury project on Beacon Street. The company I work for is no secret, though I'll refrain from naming them here. Let it be known that we did all of the woodwork in T_m Br_dy's three floor condo right up the street from my project on Beacon. If you wonder what such woodwork is worth in dollars, think about the median value of a home in Mass and triple it- just for woodwork. I got to see it inside, and gawk at his trophies and at the Audi R8 in his garage. Anyway, I've said too much.. and now I must kill you.
I returned to the office from Boston about 6:00 and yeah- I rode home by bike when it would have been oh-so-much-easier to drive myself straight home. That's what a hard nosed bad ass I am. Skipping a ride is like skipping a dose of Prozac.

1989 UB Classic Criterium

Rewind 20 years to 1988, the year I was 4th at the UB Classic. (3rd place was my good friend Todd Scheske) In 1989 (pictured) I was 3rd- (2nd in the field sprint). In 1990 as a first year cat 2, I was 7th in the 2/3 race, which would end up being the last time I ever raced at UB. Known to be a blood bath.. I'm glad I never kissed the pavement on that twisty course. and looking back, I see that all three times I raced there I finished in the money, and my decent and consistent results there most likely it didn't hurt my chances of being upgraded to Cat 2 while still a junior.
Fast forward 10-11 years and add about 40 pounds (I am about 190 in this picture) This was something I wanted to try for a long time, so around the year 2000, dear wife and I were in Turkey, and I said -uck it, no time like the present. We were at a salon for hours while she and her mom got the royal treatment. I became so bored that I jumped into a chair and said "let's do this thing".. Here, we're at a waterfront restaurant which has a view of one of the bridges connecting Europe and Asia.

Bridges, Tunnels and Carbon

Doesn't it make you all happy inside to see what my AM commute looks like? The infamous West Warwick/Cranston Bike Path- pretty scenic these days and usually deserted in the mornings. The tunnel which is pictured is very dark in the middle (during the day) - such that yours truly crashed violently back in 2003 after striking 6" x 6" x 5 foot long piece of pressure treated lumber (positioned there intentionally by some -uckers) Letters written to the state did get results- they fixed the lighting inside of the tunnel, which now only lights up at night. I guess they missed the part about me crashing in there after sunrise one morning. I guess we take what we can get.
I voted on my lunch break.

Is your glass half full or half empty?

..or maybe the glass is just twice as large as it needs to be.. Whatever.. Here's some visual stimulation which I hope will make your Monday morning a little more bearable. I never considered myself to be vertically challenged until I saw this photo of solobreak, me and ilbruce.

No I did not buy this saddle from Solobreak, but I think it's just as gnarly as the one which he was too cheap to replace when he should have.. I pretended to be sick and stayed home from school on the day that I expected this saddle to arrive from Performance Bike, along with some other stuff that I ordered. It ended up arriving the following day, meaning I had to fake my illness for two days in a row. I bet I'm not the only bike crazy 16 year old to have done this..

The one that started it all- a relic from my glory days as a junior. This Torpado SLX was abandoned upon the advent of SIS index shifting- I keep this bike as a reminder. Of what.. I'm not sure. I laced up that Ambrosio Montreal rear wheel myself when I was 16. Holy crap that was 21 years ago.

My second hand entry level Fuji Cross Pro- a sucky bike compared to the thoroughbreds which lapped me on Saturday, but even with the chain which I swapped onto it from my road bike 1/2 hour before the race, it did not let me down, did not miss a shift or blow out a side wall.

My trusty Redline 9-2-5 commuter recently had a makeover, as you can see from the junk on the floor. Hey maybe I can use those things to do push-ups or something.. I bought this bike on impulse because it had the flip flop rear wheel. A heavy steel fixed gear bike with fenders, bullet proof wheels and tires? Sold! Soon I'll be doing three hour weekend rides on it. Who wants to come with me?

Above, you bask in the reflected glory of my French stallion- the LOOK 486. Sixteen pounds of carbon fiber fury. I replaced the lost chain tool with a trip to REI today, so the new chain was applied and no swear words were used. Needless to say, I couldn't do it without completely degreasing the cranks, chainrings, frame, cassette and wheels. A new chain deserves a clean drivetrain. So.. what's temporarily missing from this bike? I must admit, with it's original Easton wheel installed and all the Powertap stuff and lights and blinkys removed from it, this bike is a very light mofo. Speaking of Powertap- I tightened up the rear hub- no more lateral play. I also discovered that the transmission wire had a break in it, explaining why the PT head is not working.

This is the bike upon which I was hit by a car back in 2006. It's a little big for me, but it I've repaired it since the car crash, so except for the rear tire being flat, it's in perfect condition, making it a fine back-up bike in case something should ever happen to the Look 486.

I haven't shown my face here in a while.. so here's a pic of me after the final Ninigret crit this summer, with a bad case of helmet head. Thanks for reading.

Northhampton Cross

Elite 35+ had 82 starters, 67 finishers. Your hero started from the very back of the field, passed some folks down on the fields, but lost most positions gained by the time lap one was completed. Got lapped by the leaders during my 5th lap, and then passed by 20 more guys just before completing my 6th lap in about 43:30. I did very consistent lap times of 7:05 to 7:15 each. I guess if I had done all 7 laps my finishing time would have been right around 51 minutes, or about 6 minutes down on your other hero, Solobreak (55th), who started right beside me at the very back... When results come out- make no mistake- I was not dead last! That distinction does not belong to Murat. Great weather today. Plus I didn't crash. Bonus! Lapped by only 1/4 of the field. Woo-hoo! Not DFL. Totally awesome! Super intense workout. Yes today rocks! I'll be imbibing spirits at il Brucie's house tonight with Nega-Coach and maybe Gewilli.. Who can ask for more?? Somebody pinch me.

FW: Office dares

Office dares

FYI, For those trying to just hold on to whatever shred of sanity and dignity you have left in your office, keep on keeping on with these innocent office dares to make your skull-crushingly dull and boring work hours a little more lively....

ONE-POINT DARES

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."
6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

TWO POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
9) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts. And if that wasn't enough for you...

How to keep a healthy level of insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
7) Don't use any punctuation
8) Use, too...much; punctuation!
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity....

19) Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like  this 

Pectoral muscles do not propel you forward on a bike

Even so, I'm fighting a war against blubber and lately the enemy has taken positions in the hills of Mantitania. I must flatten those bastards, so I've been doing push-ups, about 4 times a week. I started out with 20 and that was hard. Yesterday, I managed to do a solid 40. Not too shabby.. there was a time when I could do 100 push ups without stopping. Hard to believe, but true. I resolve to harden my upper body this winter primarily with free weights, and this might involve renewing my membership at Bally Total Fitness. What sucks is that the nearest facility is in North Providence. They do have a spin class that's usually very well attended.. and racquetball courts in the East Providence location. Renewing at Bally's for me is about $100 a year- short money. I've also been considering doing the indoor soccer thing again- join a team and play once a week like I did a few winters ago. My ankle sprain of 2006 seems to have healed up because I had no pain down there after last week's MRC race. If I can jump barriers, I should be able to kick a ball again..
I'm registered for Northhampton Saturday only in the 35+ 1/2/3. There are 81 pre-registered in my field and I plan to improve on last weekend's 51st place out of 57 starters at MRC Cyclocross. I don't know what's worse- getting lapped or being at the very bottom of the finishers, but I guess being given credit for "finishing" even when you're one lap down, is pretty cool. I saw that a few guys DNF'ed so there's always something worse than being lapped or DFL.
I was about 5 minutes into my commute this morning and a rider on the bike path passed me head-on. He said "Hi Murat" but my eyes were so glazed from the cold that I couldn't make out who it was or his uniform and it was too cold to stop. I wonder who that was..

So if I go and do my 5th ever cyclocross race..

..this weekend up in 'NoHo', that will mean I've done an average of one cross race every four years.. over the past 20 years.. Lame.
The bike path in Cranston (not to be confused with the very inferior, dangerous, narrow and slick with bird poo and covered with Gewilli's bike drippings East Providence Bike Path).. has been a carpet of foliage lately.. and as this fallen organic matter dehydrates, it sounds more and more like potato chips underfoot..
What is up with bluejays and squirrels? For two mornings in a row, I am finding not less than three of each congregated in a clearing, seemingly in cahoots on some level that I can't understand.
A ride home from work last night at 8:00 pm was indeed invigorating- and I did not take the shortcut- went the whole 12.5 miles.. though I did take the shortcut this morning. I'm lazy and have trouble convincing myself I've had enough sleep. Too much of something that feels so good, can't be a bad thing, right?.. except when you're cutting it too close and making yourself late for work. If I spend an extra 2-3 minutes looking for booties or keys or wallet, that's all it takes for me to relegate myself to taking the shortcut, which is only 9 miles and includes a hill that I don't like. Ha- as if there's one that I do like somewhere..
I'm proud of myself though- it takes more than a little bit of character and determination to get suited up extra early in the freezing cold for a 45 minute commute. Lately, since I'm no longer marching to the beat of the Powertap (though I don't like having to do manual workout entries- I'm trying to keep accurate TSS, CTL, and ATL levels maintained in Peaks software).. I find myself commuting less because of the need to add training volume, and more because I just love propelling myself forward on a bike to get where I need to be. It feels pretty good, once the initial shock of the cold passes and everything acclimates and you feel like you could go on for hours if you had time.. I arrive to work pumped with endorphins and grinning, as my astonished pear-shaped co-workers scratch their heads and wonder.. "why? what's the point?".. and 10-12 hours later I walk into the door at home the same way, smiling and as happy as a tornado in a trailer park..
Thanks for reading.

My fourth cyclocross race ever..

..yeah...about that. My first ever cross race was 1988 Junior Nationals in Milwaukee.. Lapped my Bobby Julich and a few others and DNF. Don't ask. 2nd cross race ever was 18 years later: 2006 Canton Cup. DNF. That sucked real bad. I suffered immeasurably. 3rd cross race ever was one of the 2007 Goddard Park races. I was lapped by only the first 6 or so finishers in the elite 35+.. Fell down once, had a good time.. 4th cross race ever was today's MRC 35+. I was loving the weather! (Man I wish I did a 3 hour road ride instead of race today) No regrets- I had fun today don't get me wrong.. My start position was in the middle someplace and I seem to have held that position for all the way until we reached the first set of barriers before the woods. No actually, I was right in there up until the hard right hander in the middle of the woods. Then a gap opened on the train in front of me and I was feeling so unconfident, so gassed, and so afraid to be the dickhead who impedes the strong legs behind me, that after the turn I made it pretty clear to those behind that I was not a good wheel to follow. Whatever. To regain the element of fun, I had to remove the element of pressure and just let everyone blow past me. Once alone, I could focus on my tempo, cornering, handling, dismounts etc, without worrying about taking someone out. After what seemed like 1/2 hour of riding at my "limit" the lap card said 4 to go. WTF? Each lap felt like an eternity to me.. 3 to go, I'm starting to believe that I can outrun the leaders to the finish- I'm dead last. Then just before the first set of barriers, I trip and fall during my dismount. I know it wasn't pretty because I went down hard when my left foot refused to release and the bike went flying overhead and landed on the first barrier. I was ok- just shaken- and relieved that I didn't make such a spectacle of myself over at the log. I was slow to get over the barriers and back up to "speed", if you can call it that. Then into the woods and just before emerging to the pit area, the leader came through and his chasers were just 5-10 seconds behind. I made sure to keep an eye behind me and give them room and point to the side of me they should pass on. That worked.. But by the time I reached the finish again, the bell was rung, and what should have been 2 to go for me, became 1 to go- I was lapped by 6 people by this time. My final lap about 12 more guys passed me and then it was over. I finished one lap down. While everyone around me was doing a cool down lap, I did my "lap of shame" and called it a day, glad to have dragged wife and child out to Wrentham. Their cheering was a huge boost, their presence made it impossible for me to quit, even though it crossed my mind a few times. Nothing hurt more than the pain in my lower back- like a knife was thrust in there and twisted constantly. What's up with that? My bike for all the screwing around I did the night before, did okay for me. I had bought a new chain for it but could not find my chain tool (hence the fit of rage referred to last night). I resorted to taking the chain off of my road bike and putting it on there instead. (It has a quick link, and the previous chain was rusted into a solid mass of corrosion, after I abandoned the cross bike following last winter's Goddard race) The shifting was extremely sloppy, but I think I only used three gears the whole time anyway.. The cassette was rusted too and I took the rust off using my wire wheel on my bench grinder. Anyway.. I've bored you enough.. I call it a good day.. and to whoever was cheering me every time I jumped over the log- I couldn't recognize the voice and I couldn't look over- thanks a bunch. It helped me stay in there and helped ease the pain too. Thanks for reading perhaps the most insignificant report out there for this event.

After tonight's fit of rage in the garage..

I've decided to limit my bicycle repairs to flat tires, and that I will happily pay others to do everything else.

Got a wheel!

Thank you Providence Bike...
Now... Tomorrow.. Skinsuit or bibs? Shorn legs or hairy? DFL? or can an untrained Murat possibly beat one or more people to the line? What's a better goal: not being lapped or not being DFL? Not that I care.. Ok maybe a little.

Wrentham is $20 richer

I threw my sombrero into the ring and look forward to trading punches with the bottom feeders of the Masters field this Saturday. I just hope I can get a rear wheel put together in time.. plus one of my frog legs is busted and I'm torn between doing a hack repair job on it, or removing them both completely. Looking at my Fuji Cross Pro after I washed the Goddard Park 2007 mud off of it the other day, I realized it's a pretty slick looking bike, even if it's just entry level. The equipment is compatible with my ability, so it works for me. Who rode to work this morning? I thought it would be in the 20s and behold it was 32 degrees when I dragged myself out of bed. No balaclava or thermal jacket needed after all. The only difference from that last cold morning is thicker leg warmers and thicker booties this time. And I took the short cut to work- only 9 miles. It's not smart to be late to work in uncertain times like this.
I'm looking at buying a mountain bike very soon- going to race it in 2009- especially on those weekends when the crits are too far away, or there's nothing but hilly road races to pick from. Mike S and I did an epic four hour mtb ride Sunday at Big River. I used a demo bike from the shop, and liked it a lot. We were lost a few times and even had to resort to the infamous "Ride of Shame" down Route 3 when we lost our way completely. That sucked because I had about 25 pounds of air left in the rear wheel.. At any rate, look out Sport Class in 2009! (or cat 4 or whatever it's now called) Murat is racing on the dirt for first time- may it be great success..

Post 527: A wet weekend in store at Wrentham?

The new Michelin tires I bought for my cross bike are for muddy conditions. (They're called "Mud3" or something.. Should I break them in on Saturday at Wrentham? I still need a rear wheel though.. Even if I use my pristine Easton wheel from the road bike, the cassette on there is an 11-23. How will that work on the Wrentham course? Should I pre-register? Decisions, decisions.. Should I do the 1-2-3 race or the Masters 1-2-3? Both? What better way to prove how much I suck at cross, than to prove it to you twice in one day??
Note to self: Self-depracation is intended to completely remove any and all expectations of a top result, which could otherwise harmfully cause me to feel pressured and required to perform, thusly removing all of the fun from participation. If I have one secret goal, it's to avoid being lapped. How hard could that be?

That was one cold commute..

..especially with just a short sleeve jersey, sleeveless base layer, speedo and flip flops. But after the first times that I drilled it [in between taking pictures of bird poo and seashells] I felt all toasty. That dermatological metabolisis really kicked in and stuff.

Powertap freehub is loose, and I don't mean slutty

Not happy! I've been without the luxury of the Powertap data for about 3-4 weeks. Having also been without a rideable cross bike since last winter, I needed a wheel that I could throw on the cross bike and get it ready to race. I even bought a pair of Michelin cross tires and tubes and a new chain.. So I get the Powertap wheel off the road bike, intending to put it onto the cross bike for a while, when I discover that the freehub/cassette has 2-3 mm of lateral play in it! How the F did that happen? I don't even own a tool for removing the cassette so I can't really see what's going on in there, but when I move it out as far as it can go, there's quite a bit of daylight between the granny gear and the hub body. It's a miracle that I was ever able to shift gears properly these past few days or weeks. So I'm still without a rear wheel for the cross bike. The original wheel has three broken spokes and a seized up freehub. The Powertap wheel needs to be rebuilt or replaced as well. The only way to get me on a cross bike this winter, it seems, is to somehow change my tubular Rolf Vector Pros, from Campy to Shimano, and I don't even know how. From what I've heard, the RVCs make excellent cross wheels. I've owned mine since 2003 and they turned out to be an excellent pair- still as straight as when I bought them. So maybe I exchange the Michelins I bought for a pair of cross tubulars? Ah! What's the point. All this trouble and expense for two or three cross races and near certain DFLs.. Maybe someone will loan me a decent Shimano rear wheel.

LikeaBike Jumpers are in stock- HOT PINK!

I'm receiving a shipment of them today or tomorrow. There's a new color in town, too! HOT PINK. And just in time for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

This Sunday morning at Roger Williams Park: MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer

Millwork One has a team of participants. Please donate to the cause if you can spare a few dollars. I know that I will.

If you don't already know, these little bikes are designed for ages two to five, built from aluminum, weigh only 7-1/2 pounds, use Schwalbe tires, have rear suspension, designed for age 2 to 5, and are completely bullet proof. (Leave it in the yard in the rain overnight? no worries)
My wife and I run a small home based business selling these bikes, under the banner of WeeBike.com. We also co-sponsor my bike race team- Millwork One Racing and we fund a lot of the team benefits such as apparel, entry fees and prize matching. It was always my hope that my largest pool of customers would be bike racers who appreciate a high end starter bike for toddlers. If you're in the market for a LikeaBike- any model, please consider buying from a fellow racer who also supports bike racing with sponsorship dollars.
To do our part in the cancer war, (we lost my father to lung cancer this past May) I would like to offer all of the local racers here in New England a special deal. Since I normally ship these bikes for free all over the US, I will extend a $15 contribution to the cancer charity of your choice, if you buy a LikeaBike Jumper from me between now and December 31st. There is one caveat: The bike will be delivered in person, within Rhode Island state lines, at a location that is mutually convenient, such as a cross race, training ride meet-up, or at Providence Bike. The $15 I usually pay for shipping the bike goes to charity, in your name. A pretty good deal I think, and very green since we avoid using UPS. Please reach out to me if you're interested: reiscotools@yahoo.com

To learn more about these amazing bikes, please use the www.WeeBike.com link, where you will be linked to our storefront on Ebay, showing you our prices and selection. We do sell many bikes outside of Ebay, so do not feel compelled to transact there. Reach out to me by e-mail and if you need to pay using credit, I can send you an invoice through Paypal. Many thanks for reading.

Powertap is kaput

I changed the hub batteries and no luck. The unit is still not receiving a signal from the hub. I've reached out to Saris.. This thing has over one year of use on it so I'm not optimistic about them sending me a brand new set-up free of cost. This sucks. Not that I need to see data while commuting. It sucks because it's a pain in the ass entering my rides manually into Peaks. The reason I'm doing this is because I want to avoid a misrepresentation of my TSS/day when I start training for 2009 next month. A semblance of continuity in the data is important to me, even if all I'm doing is 25 miles of commuting five days a week.

Care package par avion

My mother-in-law has been visiting with us since July 15th, and tonight she boarded a SwissAir flight home. In fact she's 6 miles in the air as I type this, somewhere approaching the Arctic Circle and headed towards Zurich. I took the opportunity for free postage and stuffed her bags with schwag for the less fortunate bike racers of Bursa, Turkey. I sent five complete kits with bibs and jerseys from my former Union Velo affiliation, six pretty decent tires and ten tubes which I flatted- each with either one tiny pin hole or a patchable snake bite. And about 12 pairs of lightly used cycling socks. Overall, about $1000 of stuff, if you had to buy it new. The guys I trained with in Turkey this past spring- a lot of them were using equipment and apparel which were quite pitiful. All of this stuff is for their benefit.

Future cyclocrosser

An Afghan boy rides his bicycle past buildings destroyed during the 22-year civil war in Afghanistan, November 14, 2001. REUTERS/File

By the Power of..

I always thought it was odd that he pointed his sword at Cringer and, instead of being destroyed by it's power, he's transformed into a "Mighty Battle Cat". Why doesn't he point it at himself?
Money quote: "Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword.."

Missing: One bike racer's mojo.. Reward if found.

I skipped riding on Saturday, Sunday and Monday, but I got myself back on track for commuting this afternoon with a chilly 12 mile ride home. Tomorrow morning's ride to work will have me cursing the change of seasons, I'm sure. It's become painfully evident that when I'm sick and tired of riding my bike and consciously stay away from it for a few days, that I develop symptoms of depression, self hate and withdrawel.. Leave it to Murat to turn a healthy and fun activity into a destructive dependency. I can't tell anymore if I'm chasing something or running away from it.

Toys R Us: No model planes

Before I discovered bicycles, I enjoyed constructing build-it-yourself model cars, boats and airplanes. The brands were Monogram and Revell, if memory serves. The other night I'm suddenly excited about introducing our five year old to this hobby, and I'm convinced that at Toys R Us, I will find a full aisle of such model vehicles, for all skill levels, including the 'snap-together' type which I want to buy for my son Reis. What a disappointment. Nothing. And none of the little paint jars, brushes or cements either. Does this have anything to do with 'glue-sniffing' potentially becoming a childhood pastime?
On the plus side.. I found a couple of very cool vintage Matchbox cars: a 1965 Alfa Romeo Sprint GTA and a 1968 Citroen DS. Son and I had a disagreement when we got home when he claimed ownership and opened them both. I offered him a box of 20 cars at the store and he declined! Anyway, we agreed to "share" the two cars. My idea of sharing was to give him one of the two cars. His idea of sharing was to open both cars, let me look at them for about 10 seconds, and then run off with both.

It's about that time: Arm warmers

Arm warmers.. The indispensable torso-less jerseys of the fall and spring.. Who hasn't been glad for tucking them into their pocket before an afternoon ride in October? Who hasn't cursed them after punching themselves in the face while trying to put them on? Livestrong bands get in the way, depilating our arm hairs. Wrist watches snag them and are usually concealed in haste. As easy to lose as a pair of socks, but less prone to disposal when they're tattered and worn out. Do you feel cool when you peel them off during your ride? Do you live for the astonishment of motorists as they witness your arms magically shedding their skin? "How cool is that?" they must be thinking to themselves.. or not. It's hard for a driver to see a biker when they're toking a Newport Light with the windows rolled up and a screaming toddler being poisoned to death in the back seat.
Three notable things about this morning's commute:
1. A white-tailed deer bounded alongside of me on the bike path in Cranston, for about 1/4 mile. Big. Scary.
2. A car (per usual on Park Ave in Cranston) pulls in front of me from a driveway, hoping to be given an opening by other accommodating motorists. It didn't work out that way, and your hero was forced to squeeze the brakes, hard.
3. I rode the butt-ugly REDLINE 9-2-5 to combat the soaking wet roads. (Yes I own one of these) My mission, to get to work with dry feet and dry ass. Done and done. It's not a fixed gear at the moment though. I used it over the summer to occasionally tow our pride and joy in his trailer a la gewilli, which is unsafe to do in the fixie mode, I think.
Enjoy your day. Thanks for reading.

Flashback: 2007 Attleboro Criterium @ Sun Chronicle

Skip Foley (waving) wins the 14th Annual Attleboro Bicycling Criterium Pro 1-2-3 Race. (Staff photo by MIKE GEORGE)
I stumbled upon this and laughed when I came to the part about Shireman beating Norton in the Cat 3 race by "a few moments". Cute. It was actually a photo finish, with Michael nipping Michael by less than a wheel. It was an exciting finish for sure. Anyways, I mainly wanted to show off the fact that I was a finisher in three events on that day, which translates to something like 120 laps around the 1 km course.
thesunchronicle article

2008 Portsmouth Criterium Finish

Ward Solar, second from right, pumps his fist in the air as he wins the Portsmouth Criterium men's pro competition in Market Square on Sunday.

Cheryl Senter photo

Above is the conclusion of the 2008 Portsmouth Criterium. I want to draw your attention to the respective ages of the top 10 finishers: 33, 27, 21, 43, 19, 17, 27, 27, 26 and 23. The combined age of 3rd and 5th place is still less than that of 4th place finisher, Matt Kressy.

Here's a nice article about the race at Seacoast Online.

Seven Days to Re-center

I rode the bike home from work today, after a full seven days of much overdue rest. More accurately, I really needed to focus on matters at work without distraction. I hate to say it, but driving instead of riding, helped. It's a hassle to juggle cars (I keep a car at work at all times), juggle apparel for work and for riding, making sure not to forget car keys, phone, wallet etc. Today I grabbed the bike and all my stuff, drove to work, and at 6 O'clock, I rode home. Powered up both blinkies- I have a white one and a red one, but I must get myself a high beam headlight ASAP. I recall last winter that riding home in the dark was kind of fun, for whatever reason. Maybe because it reminds me of the times I used to roam the streets of Queens NY as a young teenager on my PK Ripper. Or because it reminds me of the times later on when my friend Derek Larson and I would go night riding on our road bikes- meet up at Pittsford Plaza when all the stores were closed, to practise sprints and leadouts under the lights of the parking lot. Couple of crazy juniors I suppose. Soon enough, it will be pitch black when I suit up to ride home from work, and it will be cold, and I need to have a good headlight. So riding home today, I'm startled by something. My Powertap is frozen- the elapsed time stopped ticking at 3:51. I stopped and fidgeted with the receiver, jiggled wires, snapped the cpu off and replaced it back on- nothing. Seems I just replaced the hub batteries not that long ago, so I'm worried that something might have shit the bed. Hopefully not.
Needless to say, with no Powertap reading telling me my watts as I ride, there was only one way to make sure and avoid doing inadvertent junk miles- and that was to ride home all-out in time trial mode of course. Serious.
I jest, but I must admit that riding home tonight without staring at the data was kind of nice. I think I'll put the Powertap wheel on the cross bike, and ride the Easton Tempest 2 rear wheel on my road bike for a while. The thing is practically brand new, and it looks pretty slick when the high contrast decals of both wheels are spinning. My Powertap wheel on the other hand, has about as much charm as a donut spare tire on a Crown Victoria.

GT: Catch and release ad steals my heart

Arguably one of the most humorous bike ad campaigns ever. Tell me this doesn't make you snicker: And yess.. it's mainly funny because it's a tri-dude who's caught. See the whole series of photos in the campaign here. That's a pretty hot road bike too. My LOOK 486 is looking a little bit dated to me lately.

Requirement of the Boy Scout Merit Badge for Cycling: Average 5 mph for 10 hours

This blog post has been incubating all day, beginning with the moment I lazily flipped open a tattered Boy Scout 'Handbook for Boys' from the 1930s and started to paw through it.. It was something I picked up a few years back, probably part of an auction lot that I won at an Antique Tool Auction. At the time, I didn't think much of it and threw it on the bookshelf. Today I discover that there is a Merit Badge for Cycling, and that the requirements for earning one were set forth 80 years ago, thusly:
How times have changed- check out the current requirements for the 2008 Cycling merit badge:
1. Show that you know first aid for injuries or illnesses that could occur while cycling, including hypothermia, heat reactions, frostbite, dehydration, insect stings, tick bites, snakebite, blisters, and hyperventilation.
2. Clean and adjust a bicycle. Prepare it for inspection using a bicycle safety checklist. Be sure the bicycle meets local laws.
3. Show your bicycle to your counselor for inspection. Point out the adjustments or repairs you have made. Do the following:
a. Show all points that need oiling regularly.
b. Show the points that should be checked regularly to make sure the bicycle is safe to ride.
c. Show how to adjust brakes, seat level and height, and steering tube.
4. Describe how to brake safely with foot brakes and with hand brakes.
5. Show how to repair a flat. Use an old bicycle tire.
6. Take a road test with your counselor and demonstrate the following:
-Proper mount, pedal, and brake including emergency stops.
-On an urban street with light traffic, properly execute a left turn from the center of the street; also demonstrate an alternate left turn technique used during periods of heavy traffic.
-Properly execute a right turn.
-Demonstrate appropriate actions at a right-turn-only lane when you are continuing straight.
-Show proper curbside and road-edge riding. Show how to ride safely along a row of parked cars.
-Cross railroad tracks properly.
7. Describe your state's traffic laws for bicycles. Compare them with motor-vehicle laws. Know the bicycle-safety guidelines.
8. Avoiding main highways, take two rides of 10 miles each, two rides of 15 miles each, and two rides of 25 miles each. You must make a report of the rides taken. List dates, routes traveled, and interesting things seen. The bicycle must have all required safety features. It must be registered as required by your local traffic laws.
9. After fulfilling requirement 8, lay out on a road map a 50-mile trip. Stay away from main highways. Using your map, make this ride in eight hours.

Source: boyscouttrail.com

I've never been a boy scout or cub scout or eagle scout, but this book informs me of an institution which I feel completely deprived from. Do people still send their kids to be scouts? Is it safe? and I mean that in the "are the adults in charge trustworthy?" kind of 'safe'? I guess I'll think about it for our 5 year old son Reis.. While you think about the duration of a 50 mile bike ride being cut from ten to eight hours, please enjoy this assortment of high resolution advertisements which I scanned from the back of the 'Boy Scout Handbook for Boys'. I love old advertisements- they're the main reason why I own a 60 year collection of National Geographic magazines which I can't bear to part with. Click to enlarge:

Damn. Now I feel my age a little bit

Zabel says it's time to hang it up. Photo: AFP (file photo)