Nini-great!

Having not raced since Blue Hills or Wells back in early May, I was anxious to test the legs after the 500+ miles logged on Turkey's beautiful and challenging roads. Mindful that my body clock was still set to 1:00 am at the start of the crit, I was thinking that it would be quite hard for me to race. So for reasons I myself don't even understand, during the B race I got on the course and set the cruise control to 260 watts for 20 solid minutes- about 15 watts shy of FTP.. Let's call it a very solid warm-up. I was feeling good, but still doubting myself because of jetlag, stress, lack of sleep, etc..

By the way, many thanks to everyone who reached out to me today and offered their condolences for my father's passing. The sincerity that comes through from such great people makes it so much easier to re-connect whatever it is has snapped inside of me. Many thanks. It was surprising to me how many people knew about it, but then again I forget that I pretty much chronicled everything here, so word spreads quickly from my handful of readers.. Thanks for that too.

So the usual suspects manage to un-attach themselves from the field in no time. I'd name them but you probably already know the boys I'm talking about- they keep such a close eye on eachother that the successful break includes them all, while less gifted and less ambitious riders don't pay such close attention to what's happening. The winning break started out with what looked like 10-12 guys.

About halfway through the race, I find myself going pressing the pace at the front, trading pulls with Gary A, John L and others. Without realizing it at first, we suddenly have a six man break, way clear of the very large field. We rotated pretty solidly for the next few laps, and it was hard enough for me that with 14 to go, 10 to go and 7 to go, I was having some doubts about having the desire to suffer enough to make it to the end. The pace wasn't killer so I tightened my chin strap and muted out those voices of doubt. By the time we had about 5 to go, we had picked off about 4 or 5 of the original break, so up the road there were only five guys left [who eventually lapped the field]. Our chase group had of course swelled to about ten guys by this time. The field was 1/2 lap back on us, meaning that the winning break was 1/2 lap up on us. We worked hard enough that we were probably only about 1/2 mph off the winning pace.

Final couple of laps, our chase group had a few surges which really went no where, but helped to shed some bodies in the final laps. Two to go there was another hard acceleration, just after my pull, and I had to really dig to stay in contact. It was so close in fact, that I had to force Gary A to close a small gap on the back stretch. It wasn't intentional, and I apologized, but it cost him a match I think. Winding it up for the "field sprint" for sixth, I found myself fifth wheel coming out of the corner. Gary was leading it out hard with John L and his NBX team mate on his wheel. There was someone else thrown in there I can't remember who, but I remember having to touch the break to avoid a fall with about 300m to go. Once I saw my opening on the left it was full gas to the line. My gear selection was in doubt at first, then I realized it was perfect because it let me accelerate the entire way and pass all four ahead of me with about 1/2 wheel or more to spare. So put me down for 6th! It's not a win, it's not a podium, and I didn't even go for one prime, but it feels pretty damn good all the same. This proves that feeling tired or slow or under-rested is all relative [to the rest of the field]. We don't know what speed or result we're capable of unless we press ourselves to the limits.

Coasting after the sprint, I'm completely wasted and can barely catch my breath. Not even pedaling for 1/2 lap. My watch says 7:30 but in my mind I know that it's really 2:30 AM. The decision to race yesterday wasn't a no-brainer. I had to really commit- though I can't pinpoint the exact moment that I said "I'll do it".. The night before I went out with friends until 2:00 am. I awoke at 5:30 to be at the office at 6:30. Drove up to Boston for an 8:30 meeting which took three hours. From there I went to two jobsites in the Beacon Street area, on my feet for about five hours, trudging up to the ninth floor of one building and to the fourth floor in another.. Just wearing myself down more and more. Slightly hung over. Headed to Providence at 3:00.. drove in heavy traffic for 90 minutes.. stopped at the office to drop off a co-worker, went home to grab bike and stuff.. and then found myself pounding out a 20 minute FTP interval as a warm-up at Ninigret. What is WRONG with me? I look forward to seeing what a well-rested Murat is capable of. I know that sounds kind of cheesy, but I've worked pretty hard to get into form this year, and hopefully this is a sign of it beginning to bear fruit. Wish me luck. Thanks for reading.

No Service up here

7:50 pm: I feel like Forest gump must have felt when he suddenly decided to stop running. Now what?..
8:15 pm: Looks like dinner is being served. People belly ache about airline food. I like it. Each meal is a challenge: to try and finish everything without wasting any of it- hard to do. There's always something on the tray which sucks.. Why don't they ever serve soup on airplanes? Just curious. More than six hours until we land. For me, it will be the same as 2:30 am. By the time I drive home and get to bed it will be 4:30 my time.. (9:30 Eastern) I'm expected at work tomorrow. Chicken Curry has arrived.
8:44 pm: there's so much to look forward to.. After these six hours are through that is.. After making my inflight meal disappear I felt a wave of happiness poured down on my head- only for a few seconds.. The feeling lingers.. But it might be from the wine I'm sipping. Took a picture of my Lufthansa food for you (I'll add it here later) This Airbus is not full so people have picked their own seats. The guy who was originally next to me has relocated. I have the window and aisle seat to myself. Alone. Soon, my sister will join my wife, son, mother and brother in Turkey. I will truly be by myself in terms of immediate family all being 8000 miles away.. And with Father gone it's going to feel extra weird. I'm a person who loves to be independent, to answer to no one, a solitary Lone Ranger/Assassin type.. But this next few weeks might be tough. Then again, it might be an opportunity to really focus on work and on racing with a minimum of distraction. I'd better make the very best of it.
11:26 pm: I'm going into and out of light sleep while my mp3 player blasts my brains out. Current selection: Green Day's Jesus of Suburbia. Just before that Papa Roach. Foo Fighters' Best of You follows. Three hours left. More wine? More sleep? This journey takes forever when you're by yourself.
12:28 am: just returned from a walk to the back of the plane to do some stretching and a visit to the lav. I did 20 miles of climbing Saturday, in the rain. It didn't really hit me until yesterday, but it feels like I've really hurt my lower back- like there's a knife in there being twisted against bone. Of course it didn't help that I did another tough climbing ride Sunday with the locals. Smaller group this time, but a more interesting route. We climbed up to Gundogdu, plunged down into Kursunlu and followed the coast to Guzelyali/Burgaz. Past my uncle's summer house and onto the four mile climb up Old Mudanya Road. Then a nice flat ride into the city and home. My friends Zafer and Murat were both Kings of the long climbs- I summited third on both of them, solo. But on the rollers on the coast, they weren't as fast as me. The fatigue from the previous day's mountain climb and the lower back pain really made it impossible to match pace with these guys on the big hills. I don't mind. On the run-in to the city of Bursa I put the hammer down and had it wound up to 35 mph on the flats. Only one could follow me and pull through: Murat. So he's good on the climbs and on the flats.. He's the latest addition to Millwork One Racing. I gave him a kit and our little team has just become international! Two Murats are better than one. One caveat (which I happen to love) is that Murat is a spitting image of Steve Buscemi. Good man.. I look forward to mailing him some more team schwag when I get home.
2:08 am: about 1/2 hour until we land at Logan. I am craving sushi enough that I may stop at Haruki on the way home, if it isn't too late. Will I be too tired to race at Ninigret on Wednesday? What am I pre-registered for this weekend? I don't even remember. The plane is finally beginning to descend from 40,000 feet. The coloe scheme of this airline seems to remind me of something.. Like the gold and silver uniforms of a certain New England racing team.. Now to decide whether these Lufthansa blankets are nice enough that I want to swipe one.. Might come in handy for using as a race day kilt.
All the above was during yesterday's flight to Boston. I'm now back at work.. And so tired.
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15-1/2 hours..

Until my flight to Frankfurt.
The past two weeks seem like a bad dream. I still can't believe my Father is gone. I haven't had any emotional breakdowns since the funeral- the day that I more or less cried all day. I leave for home tomorrow by myself while dear wife and son stay behind for five extra weeks. I'm pre-registered for 16 criteriums in four weekends, so I have my work cut out for me.. Not to mention all the unsolvable knots I need to untangle when I return to work- two weeks away from a construction position is an eternity.
It's gonna be an interesting summer.. But.. I feel lost, as though my North Star has been extinguished.
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Be Home Soon

It's a shame that I was too naïve to realize until now that "Most people are Dicks", applies no matter what country you're in. Our car is extra filthy, in spite of the rains which have fallen recently. You can buy a cup of boiled corn-off-the-cob at the mall for 6 YTL.. What does that cost them? Ten cents? Armani t-shirts for $219.. Lacoste polo shirts for $239.. Crappy Chinese made Nine West stuff for about 10x what we pay in the US.. A walk through Turkey's malls is an exercise in gratitude for the cheap prices we pay for premium stuff at our outlet centers, TJ Maxx and Marshalls.. My wife's DKNY t-shirt which she paid $15 for: found at the mall here for 120 YTL (about 100$) who can afford this stuff? And even so, who is retarded enough to pay this much? Show me who and I will show you an insecure and hollow shell of a person who deserves to be slapped hard.
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Long climb up Uludag

Distance to top: 20 miles
Vertical Rise: 5400 feet
Duration to top: 2:09
Rained almost the whole way up!
Only a 5 percent average grade, but after 10 miles of climbing, 5 percent starts to feel like 10.. I recorded the elevation profile with the Polar. Brother followed me up in the car. We have pictures which I'll post next week.
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Steep Climbing

Went out at 8 am this morning.. No real plan except to go for 3-4 hours and include some 30 second intervals at CP6 with 30 sec spin recoveries.. The wind took me in the direction of Mudanya, which makes no sense because the wind was blowing hard off the water.. Went up the 3 mile climb of "Old Mudanya Road", with views that never fail to make my jaw drop. The descent into Mudanya sucks balls- the road is rough as hell- making it impossible to gain any speed. Need full suspension for that. Where the old road meets the main highway, we go straight and head into Guzelyali/Burgaz.. Which takes me past my Uncle Orhan's house as the road winds it's way along the coast towards the town of Kursunlu. As luck would have it, my uncle's wife was out on the front porch. She's 70 and didn't recognize me until I took my Rudys off and said "It's me, Murat". They heard the news of my father's passing from my aunt in Istanbul.. Anyway.. Uncle Orhan and his wife had arrived a couple of days ago from Germany. They worked their entire lives in the upholstery division of the Opel factory in the Frankfurt/Koln area. He's the oldest of seven siblings- my dad being the middle child. He's 73 and very healthy. He's also self published two books of poetry. She's 70 and had four daughters with my uncle- Canan, Seyda, Lelya and Semra. The youngest of these cousins being 39 years old. All are in Germany. All have divorced at least once. Uncle had gone out to buy supplies- the summer house was ina state of being unpacked from the winter.. A water view from the balcony that makes me quite jealous.. They bought that condo 38 years ago- I love that place. The water used to lap the base of the building, but that was before thwe entire beach was infilled and cement poured to create a giant ferryboat landing.. The view is still excellent though. After a hot cup of Nescafe and some small talk about my dad and uncle's sibling rivalry, I excused myself and continued along the coastal road towards Kursunlu. Not only steep and winding, rising 150 feet then plunging back down to sea level every so often.. But with a view to die for. Once into the coastal town of Kursunlu, I asked how to get to the village of Gundogdu, which is where I climbed from the other direction last week. A sharp right hander and I'm on a brick paved road rising before me like a wall.. Unlike the four mile climb we did that day, this time the pitch was a lot steeper, reaching the same peak in only three miles, and starting from sea level. The first 1/2 mile was the hardest- it rose 400 feet. The next 1/2 mile was less brutal, but the end of the first mile marked about 600 feet. Three mile point at the top was 1200 feet total rise, but this included a few short dips downward which had to be re-ascended. Toughest big climb around! I can't say enough about the view at the top. You just have to see it to believe it. Makes all the pain worth it. After the four mile descent and after I got on the flats leading into the city, I did my 30 second CP6 intervals.. Most of them anyway. Thanks for reading.

Pay 10 times more in Turkey

We just saw a hard side Samsonite suitcase in a classy mall store- same as we bought at TJ Maxx for $80..
Price in Turkey: 795 YTL (about $700)
I told the sales girl and she rambled on about how this one was the lightest in the world blah blah.. Whoever buys that thing for 795 YTL should be skinned alove for their idiocy.
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Training Day

Going to skip forward a few days and just tell you about my club ride this morning with 30 other Bursa cyclists. Only about 7 or 8 road bikes and the rest were all mountain bikes. We took a main highway- six lanes wide- broad shoulder- completely open to the wind- you can see for miles and miles in all directions- long 2-3 mile big ring climbs that rise gently enough, but which grind you to dust and have you wanting so badlly to drop it into the little ring and ride like a weenie. This road hurts. We were on this highway for quite a while, strung out at times in groups of 2 and 3 and 4.. Per my resolution of a few days earlier, I had my game face on and pounded everyone into submission on every climb, stringing them out single file until 300m before the top, and then accelerating over the peak, solo. The fire in the belly was burning brightly today.. This motley group of bikers was populated with three strong juniors, elite mountain bike racers, road masters who used to race, road masters who still race, a guy who can ride a wheelie for miles, people I raced with as a junior back in 1989, a couple of 50 somethings and even a 60 something. My LOOK 486 attracted lots of attention, as did my rear hub and Powertap.. A couple of the guys looked really - how should I say - poor. Riding really tattered and poor fitting clothing and riding hand me down federation bikes with 7 speeds and down tube shifters. One of these guys was strong as a bull..
So we rode to the end of the highway and after regrouping we went onto a country road for about 5 miles- into a little village where we raided a tea garden and took over the place. Someone bought a huge warm loaf of country bread and two kilos of soft country feta cheese. Everyone ordered hot Turkish tea. Bikes sprawled out everywhere. Good food, good company, good weather.. It all adds up to a very memorable and enjoyable ride. On the way back I hit a pothole large enough to swallow a small child. I swear I hit it so hard that I saw the fork flex enough for the tire to hit the frame.. Both bottles went flying. One of the cages is kaput. Changed the flat in 5-6 minutes and we headed back out of the country village and back onto the highway. I stopped to pee and everyone got a 2 minute gap on me. They had said they would take it easy and wait for me, but judging from the fragments of the group which I began to catch up to, they were working hard to make it harder for me. A few grabbed my wheel along the way, so by the time I caught onto the tail of the roadies who were pressing the pace, I had a tail of 4-5 guys with me. Feeling good, I rode up to the front and uncorked a hot 2 minutes to the top of the hill. Only three others could follow, but none could pull through. We were doing 34 mph on the flats between the hills. Up the final climb, I pulled for the first half way up, let the others pull through, and then hit it hard again over the top. Only one could follow, but I rode him off my wheel in the last 100m of the climb. I'm not beating my chest over being faster on the road than a bunch of mountain bikers. I just had a good time that's all. This ride was great for my morale. Overall we did 60 miles in about 3:10, but this doesn't include about 20 minutes between flatting and peeing. Thanks for reading.

Almost turned to scrambled eggs when my front tire blew!
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Friday Funerals are the Best..

..Is what people keep telling me.. And that my Father is very lucky and very loved by the Big Guy for this reason. We've been to City Hall, we've ordered the food and drink for 100 people.. We went to the cemetary and picked a spot.. We (ten of us) carried him down the stairs from the third floor in a casket.. We took him to the mosque where he was bathed one final time- and yes of course I insisted on being present and helping out.. Now he's back in the casket, staged in front of the mosque (which is not a casket in a true sense- it's used only for transport) as brother and I wait for Friday prayers to end. When they do, people will flood out and surround the casket and pray some more. After that it's a short trip to the cemetary, where everyone who wasn't here at the mosque (the women of the house) will be waiting. I'm told that the way it works is that my brother and I get into the grave and help lower Father into it. He's wrapped in three seamless pieces of white cloth-that's it, there's no casket. Strangers are walking up and praying, squeezing our hands. My eyes are bloodshot and raw. I probably look like I will be next to go.. While my younger brother Ali is as poker faced and calm as a Hindu Cow... Wife has been falling apart a lot. She and my Dad had a special father-daughter bond.
It's bright, sunny and 80+ degrees, just like every day is here in Mudanya, just like California. I'm looking forward to my next bike ride, my next race, and every one which follows.. Because I have this far fetched hope.. That Father will finally and easily see how hard I try.. How seriously hard I work to be the best I can be.. He'll excitedly stand with a clenched fist as I wind up a finishing sprint and attack and open up an unclosable gap..
I'm delirious.. Dreaming.. I miss him so much..
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Thank you..

.To everyone who is reaching out to me on the blog comments as well as privately. I've given up on answering everyone individually, for now. I'm blown away and eternally grateful.
We're about to leave to go and choose a site for Father at the Mudanya cemetary. He loved it here by the ocean.
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After

It's 2am. We planted a few seeds and news spread like wildfire. Before you know it, phones are ringing like crazy, the doorbell is chiming non stop, and people are flooding the house to pay their respects. I'm tired- laying down in the same room as Father's body. He's covered head to toe. His two big toes are tied together and a strip of cloth is tied around his head and chin to keep his mouth closed. The balcony door is wide open and the room is chilled. We have pepsi bottles in the freezer which will soon be ready for use as ice packs to keep Father cool long enough to carry him to a mosque in the morning for cleansing and preparation for burial. Per islamic requirements, he must be in the ground before sundown the following day. Tomorrow after morning prayers, a short invitation to his funeral will be read via speakerphone from the minaret. (This is being repeated at another mosque in Bursa also) After Friday prayers at the local mpsque in Mudanya, those who want to can then join in a quick stand up prayer outside the mosque, around the coffin. From there we proceed to the cemetary where his site has already been prepared and we lay him to rest. Per tradition, everyone in attendance is encouraged to throw a few shovels of soil into the grave, until it's filled completely. And then begins a period of mourning and group prayers at the house.. Etc etc. I'm going to try to take a nap..

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Lost Him

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Whose Nightmare is this?

I keep thinking about what a nightmare this situation has become for me and the family.. Then I come to my senses when I consider that Father is the one who is really living in a nightmare right now, and then I want to punch myself and jump off the nearest bridge for being such a pussy.
If I knew that I would live for another 40 years, I'd happily split them 50-50 with my father. We'd go into the dark together, 20 years from now.

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A new day

It's windy enough this morning that there are little whitecaps all over the water, which we have a clear of, from father's apartment balcony.
He's hanging in there. I told him repeatedly that my brother will be here today. His breathing is getting labored. He hasn't taken any food or drink in the last 40 hours because every drop of food causes a gag reflex and a fit of coughing on phlegm that has nested in his throat. He used to be able to clear it and spit but not anymore. The IV doesn't work either- it goes for ten minutes and then backs up and blood is everywhere. His veins are all shot from the chemo treatments.
We're just "getting ready" for the inevitable at this point. I'm emotionally drained. Last night I sat with him and told him I love him very much, that I always have.. That he's my champion and hero and not to be afraid..
Damn.
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45 minute spin

That's all. Barely 100 watts. Rode past my uncle's waterfront summer condo in Burgaz, which he has owned forever. Nobody home, or at least I assume so- no Opel parked out front with German plates. Even if he was home, I'm not sure if I would have stopped. And if I had, I'm not sure if I would have been very nice to him. He's the oldest of 7 siblings, and he hates my father for a variety of reasons.. Mainly because my father insulted him while in a drunken stupor.. Ironic thing is: When my two teenage uncles used to sneak around getting drunk, my 12 year old father was a witness. Determined to keep him quiet about it, they would pass him drinks too, in return for his silence. And so begins the story of my father's alcoholism. Fast forward 50 years and we find my father on his death bed, and his two older brothers "G-d knows where", and completely oblivious. They can both suck my balls.
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Hondas in disguise

No Accords in Turkey- it's called Legend here. The economical Honda Fit is called the Jazz for whatever reason. Also, I'm seeing a Land Rover Freelander everywhere I turn. I can barely afford to lease one back home.. How do these poor poor Turks afford them here? There's a 100 percent tax on imports.. And limited financing options. You think you're the shit because you leased an LR2 with no money down and can afford to fill up for $4 a gallon? Take a pill. Get over yourself. The vehicle and the fuel is more than double the cost here, while the Median income is only about $1400 a monthn probably a lot less.
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Day 4: climber's heaven

Some corrections.. The main highway which climbs out of Mudanya rises 750 feet in 2-1/2 miles.. The old winding road (that is, the return to Mudanya which I use to get home afterwards) rises to 900 feet (but begins at 200 feet elev) in exactly three miles. I did both climbs again today for the third consecutive day.. And then some.. Today I discovered a road which climbs up out of the valley to a point opposite the city of Bursa to a little "koy" (village) called "Gundogdu".. Which literally means "Rising Sun" or something close.. At the top of this climb, at the fountain of the village mosque, my altimeter read 1200 feet. The view of the city of Bursa down in the valley took my breath away. To see the entirety of a city populated by 2 million.. as though it was painted there by a giant paint brush- something to behold.. My companion and guide on this scenic five mile climb was a 40 year old mountain biker/road race dabbler who had me making 'woman noises' all the way to the top. In fact, Zafer is a bike commuter who climbs this hill every day after work, then doubles back down to get home. I can't say I blame him. The traffic was light, the breeze cool, and the views awesome. He had a backpack and climbed smoother and faster than me in spite of the added weight. Opened a nice gap on me too I don't mind admitting.. Though I did keep him closely in sight the whole way. But.. He does know the road like the back of his hand. My legs are quite sore and achy from all the climbing I've done after taking 6 days off the bike and then traveling 8000 miles. I'll try to return the favor and make him suffer on Sunday's group ride after I've taken some recovery time. Great guy, Zafer. A rare breed indeed, especially in Turkey. I'll take some pictures on Sunday's ride, which I'm told usually goes 120 km. Now that I think of it, today's total climbing was 3000 feet, according to the Polar. Two consecutive days prior, I know I did about 4000 total feet of climbing. So 7000 feet in three days. That's a lot of vertical rise for an over weight guy who climbs poorly.. Last three days I have about 9 hours of ride time and approx 160 miles.. Not too shabby. Tomorrow I take a light one hour spin with no big ring and no hills. My avg HR today was 142. Could not go hard enough due to soreness, to get it higher.. Max HR was only a weak 174.
Father seems to have taken a step backwards today.. All the forward momentum of yesterday erased. The initial shock of when I first saw his emaciation has passed.. But I can't help but feel a certain disconnect from my emotions. It's like a circuit breaker has tripped- it did it's job of protecting me from overload and complete failure. Tears no longer well up when I look down at his broken body. Guilt about my easy-going nature, my 3 hour bike rides.. Guilt rears it's head and pokes me in the ribs occasionally. Must be a form of adaptation. In order for me to be strong enough to feed him by spoon and to keep him clean and to help him clear phlegm and wipe his mouth, certain systems require disabling.
Thursday my brother arrives and maybe then I'll hit the reset button.. Though I must admit that it's easier this way.. And that I am very afraid.
I'm not a religious person.. In spite of my family's best efforts to indoctrinate me.. I'm agnostic. Believe it when I see it. There's maybe probably a G-d.. If so, he's not a participant or an influence on our lives.. For this reason, prayer is futile. Buy powerball tickets man, because that has a greater chance of enhancing your life. G-d can't help you.. And if he did, it would be pretty unfair to all of those who are sick and dying or killed senselessly every second of every day.. Who helped them? Were they overlooked for not praying? Or for not praying to the correct G-d? To me' G-d's more like an apathetic observer.. Powerless or at least unable to show it. I am infuriated by the words "Thank God!" Or "It's G-d's will". For fuck's sake stop giving credit to G-d for your hard work AND THEN giving him praise for tragic events! Stop it. If you triumph, give yourself the credit. If you have cancer, it wasn't "G-d's fucking will" either. Sorry if I offend. I do not mean to indoctrinate and I do not disrespect those with faith- my father is deeply religious. He was anyway- but maybe that's changed..
I don't believe in hell.. Which brings me to the whole point of this rant: I find the concept of Heaven very hard to believe as well.. But in these last few days, for the sake of my father, I'm at least hoping for it with all my heart. Thanks for reading.
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Day three

I think I'm losing weight in sympathy for my dad. Eating less.. Riding lots. And climbing galore. Can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a ball-busting climb.. Later today I'll go out of Mudanya on the main highway with my Polar and get the altitude profile for later. I'm guessing that it climbs about 600 feet in 2-1/2 miles. The other day I climbed it without stressing myself too much, but it turns out that I pushed hard enough that my bar tape unraveled on the tops.. Tonight I'll be meeting up with one of the local Masters for a ride together. His name's Zafer. We tried to rendezvous last night (my 2nd ride of the day) but I took some wrong turns and it didn't work out. In the morning I went out by bike to meet my wife at her mom's house. Since I needed to have street clothes with me, I took the "rescue pack"- my orange adidas back pack that looks a lot like Diego's.. Had to climb the hill out of Mudanya with about 15 extra pounds.. Plus I added my red blinky to the bike to be safe. We rented a car yesterday for two weeks- a brand new Renault Symbol. It had 12 km on it and the interior still wrapped in plastic. For a sub-compact it sure had no trouble swallowing my bike in the trunk (with both wheels off). Cost for 15 days: 1050 dollars. Gas costs 9 dollars a gallon so it will be about 120 dollars to fill up the 13 gallon tank. Crazy. You can rent a car for 20 dollars a day in the states. Here it's triple to rent a car and more than double for gas.. Americans complain about gas prices.. Pfffft! I hope the price goes up to 10 dollars. Can't afford it? Ride a bike! Eat your house! You know the one where you financed BOTH the down payment and the other 95 percent too?! Sorry I'm way off topic here. Here's my upturned middle finger to Washington Mutual Bank- the one which, for the third consecutive year, embarrassed me in Turkey with credit card transaction failures.. In spite of my calling in advance and telling them I'll be in Turkey. What a joke.
Father seemed to improve marginally yesterday.. But he looks a little more tired this morning. Pulse is down to 96 today from 120.. I don't know if it's a good sign. He can't speak. He can't stand or walk without two people assisting him.. He's too weak to eat or bathe or do anything really. We need a full time nurse because Im here for only so long and his wife is exhausted both mentally and physically. There is no such thing as a "hospice" in Turkey, or so I'm told. Got cancer? You're on your own.
Yesterday while out on the roads I suddenly became very aware of a few observations:
1. Everyone.. smokes.. cigarettes.
2. Men walking hunched over, hands often behind their backs, with big beer bellies and narrow downward sloping shoulders outnumber all other 'types' on the street. Occasionally you'll spy one who's in between cigarattes, but it's rare.
3. Young misguided teenage boys with absolutely AWFUL looking 'mohawk-ish" haircuts.. Are everywhere and should be beaten to in inch of their life or until they agree to shave that travesty of hair clean off their heads. 4. Young girls with their heads covered with scarves.. Not only do they appear freakishly top heavy and androgenous.. They also seem to outnumber the other girls by a factor of 3:2. Do I have to go to the south coast in order to see some eye candy??
5. The coolest cars are in Turkey: Seat, Renault, Citroen, Peugeot, Fiat, Skoda, Alfa Romeo.. These companies do not sell in the US.. But if they did, their sporty looking compact models would be very popular.. The compact class is very limited in the US, but not for long I think.
6. Turkish people love to gawk, laugh, point and sometimes shout at handsome and muscular bike racers who are wearing great looking team uniforms and going very fast.
:)
Thanks for reading.
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Mudanya-Bursa

Are separated by 30 km.. I assembled the bike today determined to get back on track. Did not ride this past Mon-Tues-Thurs-Fri-Sat so today was a shock to the system. Headed out in the afternoon heat.. In the direction of Bursa.. Mudanya is the equivalent of Newport.. It's a seaside town about 1/2 hour drive from Bursa/Providence.. There's only two ways out, both from the same road. One requires you to climb a 3 mile hill on a windswept state highway with terribly heavy chip/seal asphalt. The other road is the "old" Mudanya road- used for ages before the highway was built. It climbs for about 4 miles to a higher elevation, switching back and forth through olive orchards until you reach a point where the views are so breath taking that you may as well be looking from the seat of an airplane.. Today I wanted to take the old road but I went past it by accident- the mouth of the road which leads to the climb was so over-developed with housing that I didnt recognize it. Used to be nothing but olive trees.. So instead I rode the steeper and more direct highway to get out of Mudanya- didn't go hard up the climb, but it still hurt. The descent was a hair raising 45-50 mph. Overall I rode 50 miles in about 2:55. My tan lines after today will make everyone back home look like feta cheese. Father is still fighting a fever. Doesn't seem fully self aware.. He's scared and confused.. Seeing things around him which we cannot see. Today we lifted him into his chair next to the bed. He wanted to sit.. It was a good opportunity for him to eat some soup and drink fluids.. There were other benefits too of which I'll spare you the details.. This could be the beginning of a long and drawn out ending. I check his pulse regularly- it's a solid 110 to 120 bpm. Beating strongly. I don't think he was prepared for this. He doesn't seem to know what hit him. Even when he was well and into treatment, we never spoke of his inevitable death. We always danced around the topic using words of encouragement.. Now that he's hanging by a thread, I can't help but think that he's highly confused and very angry that we kind of lied to him in the process of propagating our own denial. We were lying to ourselves, too.. I hope he doesn't hate me for duping him into believing he'll recover. Not just me, but everyone who cares about him is complicit. What a silly thing to feel guilt about, yet here I am. Thanks for reading.
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Apologies..

I'm delivering lots of bad news and I feel badly for being such a Buzz Killington..
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Sunday morning

Im wearing the same clothing as yesterday- slept in them. Suitcase and bike are still unpacked. Brought a nurse in who helped put an IV on my father's wrist. We're giving him some serum with sugar and b-c vitamins. We've more or less given up on using modern plumbing.. Will he come around? Stand on his own ever again? Eat? This is hard.. But it could be a lot harder.. If father were awake, we might see and hear and know how he really feels. His unintelligible whispering and blank face expression makes it easy for us.. It hides his pain and his fear- the two things I can't bear to witness.. I fell apart completely last night when I first saw him. My next meltdown will be when I see him cry or wince in pain.
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Nothing left to do

We've been at my father's house for all of 90 minutes. It's 8:50 pm Saturday May 24th. Moments ago I sent my wife to go stay at her mom's with my son. None of us have slept in the past 24 hours, unless numerous 5 minute episodes of passing out in the airplane count..
I do not recognize my father's appearance.. And in his incoherence I have doubts about whether he recognizes me. The shock and awe of seeing his wife carry him to the bathroom heimlich style.. Paled in comparison to the moment they emerged from the bathroom.. And father's legs gave out... The same legs that raced bikes 45 years ago.. And I lifted his weak and crumpled body from the floor the way that a father carries his slumbering 5 year old child and I carried him to his bed, for a moment astonished at my burst of strength.. until I realized how much he's wasted away.
This has been the most difficult hour of my life.
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Eagle has landed

Istanbul! not Constantinople!
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Greetings from Frankfurt

Three hour layover until our flight to Istanbul starts boarding. Gotta love Lufthansa!! They took the bike case without asking for an extra dime.. Of course it might be because we are entitled to 6 suitcases and only had 4.. The bike case was the lightest piece too.. Maybe they'll nail me on the return leg.. We're docked at a table and chairs in front of a panoramic view of the airfield. It's pretty awesome. The Airbus ride here was six hours, and that plane was huge.. You take a flight of stairs down to the toilets. Private Lcds in front of every seat.. You choose your own movie, cartoon or sitcom. I was seated next to a 350 pound mouth-breather who cursed at my son in German when he accidentally kicked the guy.. I didn't take offense. Germans usually do not seem to be crazy about kids (Sorry Ralf- they're generally just plain cold towards their own kids and especially towards the kids of others) Me, I don't think twice about talking with or winking/smiling at little kids. I'd pick them up and kiss them if I knew I wouldn't be assaulted by their parents.

Women's Lib Arrived on Bicycles

This looks like a great read:

Women were once considered too frail to ride bicycles.

 

Story Highlights

Victorian era women were expected to be frail, wear 7 pounds of underwear
Bifurcated garments called bloomers were scandalous
Escorts needed to protect women from becoming morally debased by their bikes
1900 U.S. Census Report said bicycles caused "revolution in social conditions"

 

By Christopher Connolly

(Mental Floss) -- Susan B. Anthony once said, "Let me tell you what I think of bicycling. I think it has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world." A woman on a bicycle, the equal rights champion observed, presents "the picture of free and untrammeled womanhood."

Complete article

"What Have I Done?"

Now that I look at this list of races which I have just pre-registered for, I'm wondering if I should maybe skip a race here and there in favor of fresher legs elsewhere. I guess I'll exercise those options when the time comes- it's only money.. What worries me the most if the weather. Pre-registering seems to always guarantee rain! Nutmeg sucked last year for this very reason. The above check-out totaled just a little over $400. Ouch! In case anyone wonders, my entry fees are not paid by the Millwork One team budget. I cover them myself and take them as a tax write-off since our little WeeBIKE company is a co-title sponsor of the team.
Seventeen races in the span of four weekends (July 6th being Masters Nationals Criterium in Kentucky- I'm going!)
So much can go wrong between now and the New Britain Criterium on July 13th.. If I complete all of these races with no crashes, no dnfs and no flat tires, it will be a triumph indeed. I think that this approach proves beyond all doubt that I love to race.. I just love being a part of this. That's what it's all about, eh? As impressed as you are with my bad-ass doing three crits a day, I swear I did not do this to impress you or to prove anything.. All of these races have been on my radar since the end of last season. Now.. Let's see if all of this excessive training and "TSS" and "FTP" amounts to anything. I'm faster and stronger today than I was at my peak last year.. assuming that the numbers don't lie. I trust the numbers and they give me confidence which I would not otherwise have. Wish me luck.

"I am so broke"..

Leaving for a two week trip to Turkey on Friday means a few things: 1. All my bills must be paid before I leave and during my absence. I have a 1" thick stack of envelopes I'm mailing tomorrow. 2. Plane tickets for the three of us are mucho dinero.. let's just say you can buy a very fine road bike with the plane ticket dough.. 3. I will be working 16 hour days all week to make sure that none of my projects suffer a meltdown while I'm gone. Stress is off the charts this week, needless to say. I'm glad it's a "rest week".. Gotta rest up for my vacation. Which in reality, is more of a visit to my father than anything else. His cancer is progressing, he's just managing pain right now and we need to see him soon if you know what I mean. I don't know what's going to feel better or worse, this work week from hell leading up to the trip, or the sadness and emotion of the actual trip itself. I return on June 9th as wife and son stay behind to be close to my father and keep me informed of his condition. Murat will be all alone for five weeks, meaning that he can ride and race as much as he cares to every day and every weekend. Not a bad thing. Today I was up at Wells and had a great time. Our man Adam Sternfield made it into the 8 man break which rolled off after the 1/2 way prime (same as last week!) and finished a solid 6th place. Dear wife actually filmed the finishing sprint and we see that the field was bearing down on these guys pretty hard- they were not that far up the road. (I will try to post it to Google later on) I think I was 10th in the field sprint. Whatever- I was really just having fun today bridging across 10 second gaps and doing a good job of accelerating when it was required.. Legs were not fresh at all but I had no difficulties with todays 26.7 mph pace. Funny- today's race watts averaged lower than yesterday's 3 hours of tempo watts. But of course today's Normalized Power was up there at 277, right at my functional threshold.

"I am so fast"..

..is the theme/category of this post. Why not? It can only be good for morale to give ourselves some occasional attaboys.. I didn't race today up at Sunapee, no, but our Millwork One team had a few guys up there and so far I'm informed that we took the 35+ field sprint for 5th, convincingly. New Hampshire is not only too far away for my taste, it' probably hilly and therefore doesn't suit my lack of climbing talent/ability or my nutritional reserves.. Never done Sunapee, and may never do it, and that's fine and dandy. One thing I definitely like, even though I passed on it, is the entry fee- a reasonable $25.. as it should be. Promoters take note... or don't. My opinions on these matters are not worth paying any mind to. But I also think that being a "friend of promoters" should not be contingent upon being tight lipped about high entry fees. Look at it this way: I manage a team and it's finances. Sponsors paid us a lot of money in order to cover all of our entry fees. I need to both make the money last AND give sponsors the best value for their money. Crits are more compatible with these objectives than road races. Simple.
Back to my original purpose: I rock.
I've been doing this 56 mile loop of rolling hills almost every weekend.. and seeing my elapsed time getting faster and faster. Today marked the latest episode of this [as yet un-named] epic saga. There's more to this evolution than meets the eye. It's not the 20mph average speed of my three hours overall in the saddle or the 2:49:25 time for the 56.6 miles which turns my crank- it's the fact that in all of 2007, I never did a 3 hour ride of more than 188 average watts- and that peak ride was in mid-July when I was going good, not in mid May on the penultimate day of a very highly stressful build period. Today's three hour ride averaged 220 watts. This data, by itself, is meaningless.. but within the context of my own evolution last season and this spring, it speaks for itself and says a lot! I realize that this is partly a case of "putting my mind to it".. after all- who cares [besides me] about the power, speed and duration of a three hour tempo ride? ... Cut me some slack.. I have issues.. and I'm sorely in need of a victory.. even if it's only me who I'm racing against. I defeated my previous PB by another 5 minutes. Hurray for me. Thanks for reading.

Sterling Race Report and Bonus: Wells Ave Report

Many thanks to our self-depracating-sprinter, Adam Sternfield. He owes himself more credit- he initiated and stayed in the ten man break at Wells and duked it out for a solid 5th.
Here's his story from the Pro-1-2 field at the Sterling RR (Full Results are here) :
Thought I'd write a brief race report on Sterling- though for the record I don't necessarily consider what I did "racing". Explanation: due to weather and car rental concerns I had to do the P/1/2 race, and I wasn't sure I had the endurance for 10 times up that hill (80 miles). As such, my mindset was one of training/survival, and the only placing I was concerned with was making sure I placed some water in my ice cube trays so I'd be able to chill my Scotch when I got home. Generally not the attitude I like to bring to a race but I had to be realistic in my ambitions and on the other hand, for training purposes, you really can't beat being bludgeoned for 3 hours by the likes of Mark McCormack. Certainly better for my fitness level than spending the entire day home with a bottle of Scotch...
On to the race itself. The pace of the first 5 laps was so infernal that one rider's post-race comment sums it up nicely: "When we came up the hill and I saw the lap cards say there were still 5 to go, I prayed for a sniper's bullet to take me out and end my suffering". OK, so the rider that made that comment was me, but I'm sure there were others who felt the same. In fact, it was right at about that halfway point that the merely tired started to seperate themselves from the truly spent. Dribs and drabs of 3 to 4 riders rolled off the front and by lap 7 there were 16 guys (including Mark, of course) up the road. That pretty much exhausts my first hand knowledge of the race for the podium. I was told that on one of the later trips up the hill, Mark detonated the group, attacking and taking 2 guys with him, whom he dusted easily in the sprint. We back in the field were content to roll steadily to our goal with a minimum of fratricide. In the end, it turned out I did have the legs to withstand the bludgeoning and was even able to unleash my World-Famous "Eephus" sprint up the hill, carrying me to 13th place in our 17-man drag race. Another surprise, because normally I'm a lock to finish dead last in any sprint.....
and here's the Wells Ave recap:
I think we did fairly well at Wells. Kyle, Matt, and I lined up with 40-50 of our close friends. After the halfway prime I was able to roll away with Marvin Wang and we were soon joined by 5 more. Sam Morse bridged up with a teammate and when the dust settled we had roughly 10 guys and were gone. Kyle and Matt patrolled/thwarted at the front of the field. I worked as much and as hard as possible (training, after all) with little regard for the final. As I mentioned, I am by no means a sprinter :-) EXCEPT if it's a looooong, momentum-driven, tailwind-assisted sprint- which just happened to be the case. I actually led it out from just past the final corner and though an IF guy and a CCB guy came past me pretty convincingly, I thought I was gonna hold on for 3rd. Unfortunately Marvin and Sam's teammate just snuck by me at the line. We were all within a half-wheel of each other, but I believe I was 5th. So, not too bad....
Thanks Adam! A solid weekend for you.

More Hill Repeats

What a day. Stress and pressure could not possibly be worse, but I saved a little reserve of strength to use at the end of the day for myself.. Sure I didn't get out on the road until 6:00 but with the limited daylight I did a series of quality intervals that make the last session of hill repeats look like junk miles. Could have done 1 more but it was getting dark.. family was waiting for me at home. Instructions were clear:
10:00 WU
30:00 endurance
3:00 hill repeats (Vomax for 2.5 min with AC for last 30 sec)
8:00 RI
repeat until you cannot match within 10% of 3rd interval
In case it interests you (and it probably doesn't but that's fine and dandy), I use a hill on route 12 in Scituate. It's exactly one mile long and the first 1/2 mile is 7% grade before it eases to about 3-4% at the top. You do not absolutely need a power meter to do this workout, because you are basically going as hard as you can without popping for the first 2-1/2 minutes, then you're going full throttle for the final 30 seconds. Personally, I like seeing the erosion of watts on the power meter display as this workout progresses and fatigue builds. Notice the instructions: "repeat until you cannot match within 10% of 3rd interval". Some may argue that this is a trivial matter- judging when you have done enough work.. Well.. I'm a lazy idiot with a pressure cooker job and after 10 hours at my job I don't want to risk making poor choices on the bike. I pay a coach to give me workouts that are tailored to me. Can I get just as fast without a coach, by making my own training program and following it? Sure, maybe, possibly, probably.. I've done it before.. but I'm not interested in reinventing the wheel in the process.. not interested in screwing up and feeling regret. My life is complicated. Having a coach makes the hardest part of training, simple. At least I know that I'm doing the specific training which is already proven to have worked for others before me. Thats the key.
Here's what my first interval looked like:

Going Away

On May 23rd we fly to Turkey for a two week holiday. ("We" means wife, son, bike and I)
I return on June 9th.. meaning that I will be missing three weekends of New England crits.. including Mystic Velo Crit, Hartford Crit, Cyclonauts Crit, etc.. However.. put me down for the Nutmeg Classic on 6/21 and every other Crit which follows it through New Britain on 7/13. I expect to be flying by late June/early July.
Needless to say, with a two week vacation on the horizon, I'm wrapped around all kinds of axles here at work- a mountain of work needs to be accomplished before we head to Logan next Friday afternoon.

It's about time!: Gas prices influence bike sales

High Gas Prices mean more Bike Sales and Repairs
A real forehead slapper! Americans realize that they can use their "nutritional reserves" for fuel instead of gasoline to get from place to place. Thirty years of relatively low gasoline prices in this country has made Americans the most obese and unhealthy people on the planet. Maybe this will spark a reversal.

Milestones

I've looked forward to this post because as of this date I've finally completed a full year of riding and racing with the PowerTap (which I first used on May 12, 2007).
In the past year:
Distance: 7747 miles (12,467 km)
Duration: 443 hours
Since Jan 1st:
Distance: 3093 miles (4977 km)
Duration: 180 hours
It was also a big week for me in terms of time and mileage as well: 256 miles in 14 hours. (This excludes a 6.5 mile ride I did Saturday with my son Reis by my side- he's four)
Today I skipped the Wells Ave crit that I was planning to do, in favor of more family themed activities: a Mother's Day picnic at Goddard Park. We had a good time- grilled lots of steaks with some friends.. I wasn't done grumbling to myself under my breath until we got home.. which is when I promptly suited up and hit the road. Long sleeves were the right choice because it was mid fifties and windy.. So I set out to do my typical 3-hour ride/route- the one I really like. This time, I wore my HRM chest strap and put the Polar on my wrist- Of course I was more interested in the profile of the route than the HR.. Turns out that this 56 mile ride has 2420 feet of climbing... and my average HR was 148. Whatever. I started out slowwww.. (the HR chart below will show this) Legs were quite whipped from yesterday's "rhythm intervals".. which are basically 4:00 VOmax and then 4:00 recovery. Two sets of three with an extra 5:00 of rest in between the sets. Topped off with 30 minutes of tempo. They hurt.. more than the hill repeats I've been doing. They are an extra minute at the same intensity, with only half of the rest in between. So I was saying.. I started out slow today.. resolving to hold an average of high end zone 2 or low end zone 3.. Of course, I'm not guided by my HRM, I'm guided by the average watts reading. About an hour into this ride, I'm still sub-200w on average.. but my the time I hit the mid point, I'm up into the 215 range and suddenly feeling weirdly good.. not really good, just a little better. By the time I end the ride, I'm back down to 213w, but I feel fresh at the end.. like I could do more.. which I've heard is a good time to end a hard ride. The route was unchanged from before (April 5 was the previous date I did this course, when I was boasting about taking 10 minutes off my time from before) As it turns out, I took another 6 minutes off of that time, without really intending to (at least not during the first hour of the ride..) Here's another compilation of data- one showing the route profile and today's heart rate, one comparing today's ride with the last time I did this route, and still another showing you the last few weeks of ride data.. (Notice that the average distance for the past six weeks is a solid 200 miles). This stuff isn't intended as any kind of chest beating on my part.. I'm just interested in monitoring how the data evolves.. But on the other hand I don't think that riding almost 20 mph for three solid hours by myself is anything to sneeze at. I've done an untold number of "fast" group rides that were a lot slower. Whatever. Just looking for the positive in all of this: Very simply, I'm getting faster.. even though the training stress is making me tired and a touch weaker. Here's the data.. Click to enlarge:

Photos of 2008 Blue Hills Classic

Found a nice photo stream on Flickr and to my surprise, there I am!.. and I now realize how badly my helmet clashes with my kit. Yuck.
Check out the rest.

Nailed it.

I dreaded it a little bit.. okay a lot, especially since it was a highly stressful and energy consuming day.. But when I suited up and headed out on route 12, I was a new man. I started the first 20 minute interval at the beginning of some rolling hills and finished it off on Pippin Orchard Road. That will explain the slightly higher VI and slower speed. I held a tiny something in reserve and hit the target. With my current FT considered to be 271, looks like I did the correct amount of work. (Look at normalized power value)
Interval 2, exactly ten minutes later.. I decide I like Pippin Orchard Road a lot- it runs in between route 14 and route 12, it's relatively flat with wide shoulders, and it's about two miles end to end. I want to do the 2nd interval on flat roads, so that there's a lot less variability, like I get on the climbs. It's a more truthful interval I think.. I had to make three quick U-turns, but I sprinted back up to speed, so nothing was lost. As you can see, interval 2 was stronger than interval 1. I'm happy with that. I rest exactly ten minutes.
Interval 3 is only ten minutes, but I expect it to be the hardest. I was wrong. This is the one which I was able to really shine on- the numbers speak for themselves. Mission accomplished. Overall, the entire workout with warm up and rest and cool down went like this:

20:00 FTP 10:00 RI.. Repeat

I'm going to be wasted after tonight's scheduled workout::

20:00 WU

20:00 FTP

10:00 RI

20:00 FTP

10:00 RI

10:00 FTP

20:00 WD

My FTP is now set to 271 in the Peaks software.. but I just checked my 2008 Normalized Power Chart to date and it says my 60 minute Normalized Power is 277 (and that I did it during the Blue Hills Classic). At my present weight of 79 kg, that 3.5 watts per kilo, for whom it may interest.. This chart shows all norm power levels from 5:00 up.

Jiminy Jilikers

I was perusing the list of Pro-Am finishers and discovered two things:
1. That it was a 93 mile road race (wtf? note to self: AVOID J.P.R.R.)
2. That my good friend and coach, 38 year old Todd Scheske took a solid 30th place, in the Pro-Am, it appears.
From the kick-ass report that I read at Adam Jr's blog, it was a pretty epic fight to the finish..
Full results Jiminy Peak Road Race

Blue Hills Classic Race Report

Here's the 'more later' part:
Imagine Murat wringing his hands, looking out the window at the falling rain.. as wife and child sleep peacefully nearby. The struggle to avoid going back to bed was fought quite fiercely for a few minutes.. even while I slept- the snooze bar was struck twice to avoid this inevitable clash of character versus "weenie-ocrity". In the end, I resolved to do what winners do: "everything which losers are unwilling to do". HA.. ha.. Cut it pretty close too, because by the time I reached the parking lot and stood in the registration area, again wringing my hands, someone announced that I had five minutes to make up my mind- it was 35 minutes until the start. "Rain".. "Cold".. "Crashes".. "Forty dollars".. "You hate road races".. "Why are you here?".. are swirling through my mind as the rain pours, now harder than ever. Then.. who rolls into the pavillion? None other than team mates Ralf and Kyle- who have ridden from home in this mess. Well, that cinches it for me right there..

A half hour later I'm staging with the other victims of this unfortunate weather.. No warm-up, no stretching, and the race is ON right from the start. Immediately two are separated and up the road. Within a couple of miles, I move up and try to stay near the front. Next thing you know I'm rolling through the front, past a bunch of BikeBarn guys who were trying to keep the field tame and dormant. I could see the two up the road are within my striking range, meaning they have about 10 or 15 seconds on us at most. I accelerate smoothly, on the hoods and one minute later I discreetly find their wheel just before the second corner (turning off of 138) Now we are three and I settle into their rythym without skipping a beat. Not 30 seconds later, Mr O'Connor joins us and we are four. Four teams represented and a big BikeBarn team back there doing a good job of blocking, we were sure.. Fine and dandy. I'm doing my share, pulling through, but not really drilling it. Our team would rather have Matt K up the road than me.. and I'm there more to disrupt things than to contribute.. In the mean time I'm hoping that some pressure's off Matt for a short while and he's just cruising and letting others tire themselves out with chasing.. Nevertheless.. I know there's some vertical rise coming up and I don't want to blow up. Well, no amount of holding back was going to get me up and over the start/finish line with these guys. I tried.. I turned myself inside out but lost contact about 200m before the line. What seemed like 10-15 seconds later, the first chase group whizzes past me, Matt yells something supportive as he passes, and another chase group five seconds behind the first almost leaves me in the dust, but I manage to latch on and recover for the next 4-5 miles of lap 2.. felt pretty solid too by the time we reached the climb again. Kept myself at the front 2-3 guys for the first 1/4-1/2 mile of the climb- big ring- standing a lot- using my heft to my advantage as much as possible.. but to no avail. Again I'm shelled (with a few others) very near the top/finish line. Now it's a solo TT to limit the damage. I have a target up the road- a lone BikeBarn guy. So I keep it steady and we're together by the time we hit the climb again. Not wanting to be caught by the 45s, we do a good job of pacing ourselves up and over the climb, such that the 45s don't reach us until after we turn onto 138 for the last time. Then we're absorbed and decide we may as well ride this train to the finish. Careful to keep out of the way, there are about 4 or 5 of us 35s in the 45+ group. Last time up the climb, a lapse of paying attention let the BikeBarn fella up the road a piece. Oh well.. Whatever. I dig for the last 300 meters and get to within 3 seconds of him. I have no idea if I'm gunning for 20th place or 30th.. (36 started I think) As it turns out I finish 18th.. with Steve B and team mate Ralf right on my heels. Felt good to finish! I think I'm doing a better job this year of "finish what you start". It's ever so much more satisfying than quitting.

The thing I'm happy about is a couple of new Critical Power values- CP20 and CP60. Before today, my mbest CP20 was 265 (last September) Today I hit 275. Also last September, my best CP60 was 235, but today: 253! This means that my fitness/form as of this spring date is better than my peak summer form of 2007. Sounds kooky, I know- after all I'm getting dropped on easy climbs in road races.. but bear in mind that in 2007 I did my best racing in criteriums.. per usual.. I'm not a road racer- I do them only when there are no crits I can do. Coach and I are going to be winding me up pretty tight over the next few weeks.. I expect to feel tired and fatigued all through May. Come mid-June we'll be letting the spring really unwind and I should be flying in time for Nutmeg, Keith Berger, Crit Nationals, New Britain, Attleboro. Good things are coming my way..

I should take my own advice! Stick to crits Murat.. but these road races are essential in terms of TTFU. Oh well. I felt good today, believe it or not.. don't let the 18th place finish fool you. The numbers churned out by the Powertap tell a much more positive story, numbers worth celebrating about actually. More later..
Preliminary Millwork One Racing 35+ results:
4 Matt Kressy
18 Murat Altinbasak
20 Ralf Geiben Lynn
22 Kyle Gates

Stick to what you know!

That's my mantra- ESPECIALLY in matters of dining out. If you have found a restaurant which serves you quality food at a reasonable cost with good service- why go anywhere else? Why go to a place you haven't been to in two years? A disapointing $60-80 meal really stings.. It's like losing your last hand at the blackjack table. Nothing left to do but go home and think about the money you've wasted..

To protect the innocent I will refer to the restaurant we went to last night as "OG". Dear wife had a birthday and after getting home from my two hour hammer-fest we all jumped in the car and headed out. Control freak that I am, it was difficult to leave the dining decision to my wife, but after all, it was HER birthday. When she suggested the "OG" I said "Why not". We'd been there before and couldn't recall a bad experience there.. WHAT A MISTAKE.

Our server was an 18 year old with a short attention span. She never offered us water (which we would be needing in copious amounts, later on) The appetizer of chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks and Calamari was AWFUL, and not worth 1/2 of the $9.95 we paid for it. My beer cost $4.75, her Diet coke cost $2.75.. Ugh. I chose a dish called "Mixed Grille", which left me saying "where's the beef".. Three hunks of chicken and three little pieces of red meat (cut? who the heck knows) I was asked with a straight face while ordering- how I want the meat cooked.. What a joke. They were all well done anyway. The worst part- everything from the bread to the salad to the appetizer to my six pieces of animal muscles to the mashed potatoes and "grilled" veggies.. were so SALTED that I was dying of thirst 1/4 of the way through my "meal". My wife had the same issues and left her food 1/2 eaten. Our son Reis- ate nothing. What a disappointment. Given the chance to eat this food for free, I would probably pass. Last night, I was required to bay nearly $60 for this mess. Never again..

Places we like: Haruki Japanese in Cranston or Providence! I eat lunch there twice a week (not cheap) but the food is fresh, clean, unsalted and always satisfying in a way that doesn't put you in a coma. Brain food. We've never left there unhappy. Bertucci's: We love their pizza! Some of their other Italian dishes aren't bad either, but at least they're not bullshit concoctions like at the "OG". Bertucci's keeps it simple. Love the bread they give away too. East Side Pockets on Thayer: The owners know us, they always give us extras and freebies when we go there, they even speak to us in Turkish out of simple courtesy (they're Syrian). The food is cheap and satisfying, made quick and tasty. This is why whenever we have out of town guests, we take them there at least once for teh "Thayer Street experience".

I know that dining out is taboo for many.. But if you must as we do.. stick to what you know. We all work way too hard for our money to take dumb and expensive chances on lousy food.

Hill repeats..

I will be on route 12 in Scituate shortly, burying myself as I repeatedly go up a certain one mile climb and coast down the other side. Bury, rest, repeat. 2-1/2 minutes at zone 5a, plus 30 seconds at zone 5b..
According to an old friend and mentor:
"Races are won by those who are most willing to suffer".

With a vengeance..

..is how I skipped today's ride. Ugh I don't even want to see the bike for a few days. I say that now but.. hill repeats await me tomorrow afternoon.
I have some new friends!: the infamous "third testicle" is paying a visit, and he's camped not far from the base of Mount EverAssed- a now dormant but very painful volcano on my crotch.. Man alive that hurts!- especially in the first 10-20 minutes of a ride.. I'm tempted to puncture it and maybe get some relief by spilling whatever the hell is inside.. The left calf has a knot in it which feels like a knife is being twisted in there.. It's always something. On the bright side, my knees are now rock solid and pain free..

It's glandular..

I am still in the 173-ish range (surprised?) depending on time of day.. and I hereby resolve to drop at least 4 kilos in time for the Hartford Crit on the 25th of May.. Don't want to look like pear shaped fat-ass when I don my brand new Millwork One skinsuit, do I?? Well.. that and I don't want to suffer so badly when I'm trying to climb. To help me lose the weight, I'm keeping a ten pound dumb-bell on the kitchen counter- a contant reminder of exactly what ten pounds means. These road races have me a little bit down in the dumps. Okay so I fell apart on the climb at Sturbridge.. not on the rollers or flats.. no need to beat myself up about it.. but it was more mental than anything else. I have this bad habit of withdrawing myself from a race long before the body has reached it's limits. If I anticipate severe difficulty (inexperience at road races pre-disposes me to expect the worst), even miles before reaching a climb, a switch has already been flipped in my mind, and it's telling me it's not worth killing myself in a race where I have no chance of placing. I'd rather lick my wounds, do some more proper training and rest and try again later, than slug it out in the red zone for 1-2 hours, hanging on by a thread and holding down/tasting my vomit. I don't race well unless my head is into it. My head doesn't get into it unless I visualize myself in the top ten. If I don't visualize myself in the top ten, I have a hard time justifying the suffering. It stops being fun. There needs to be hope. Is this such a bad habit? I'm not so sure. In my profession, I have this knack for sniffing out and avoiding un-necessary work. It keeps me ahead of the curve. At Sturbridge I could have done a better job of grabbing a wheel and sticking to it all the way up that first climb.. but by the time that I popped I had no gas left to match anyone else's pace. I was on my own. When I got to the finish at the end of lap one, Sandy asked if I was gonna finish. "Yes I am!" was followed by a lot of "am I really?" echoing in my mind.. Thoughts of a long drive home and getting no training and being $40 poorer kept me churning the pedals to the very end, regardless of how many minutes I was down.. How much of a difference would ten pounds have made? Go lift a full gallon container of milk and you tell me! It's only 8 pounds... I should not expect myself to be an excellent climber or road racer- I never have been!- and I'm not going to magically become excellent at climbing and road racing just because I have a large amount of base miles and hours. So when's the next criterium? I'll drive to New Jersey if I have to!.. As for the GVCC Classic of two weekends ago, I'm over it. Once I took a look at the results, I realized that over 1/2 of the field was DNF.. so I'm not so special after all. Now quit looking at my gut! I had just inhaled.

Yes Sturbridge..

Latest Performance Management Chart, showing November 18th thru today..

A great day for a bike race! Today it was less important where I finished, and more important that I just plain finish. Many are telling me that I might be overtrained, over-reached or whatever.. but I think it has more to do with me simply disliking road races. Today I was determined to try and finish with the main field.. so determined in fact that when a team mate flatted, I excused myself from waiting for him and helping him catch back up to the field. I won't forgive myself for that lapse in judgment, but at least I resolved to finish the race, and I did. Not sure how far down I was, but the 45+ field caught and passed me (Yes I hung there with them for a few miles, but I just wasn't inspired enough to turn myself inside out trying to hang onto the back of their main field- I ended up favoring my own pace over theirs..) Not long after that, I joined up with 3 or 4 others and we worked to limit the damage together.. Last time up the climb was such a relief.. though when I was at the base, the 35s who had already finished were already headed back down the hill.. Yeah I almost called it a day- many times- during lap no 2.. but having a few people to trade pulls with on lap 3 made the decision to finish the race, much easier. I know I came in close to DFL, but not quite. When's the next effing criterium please?

Below, my charts of recent weeks and all months beginning with May 2007- when I first put the Powertap into service.. May 12th to be exact. Could I be over trained? I have 7315 miles since last May 12. I have 3357 miles since November 18 (the day I started training again for 2008), and I have 2662 miles since January 1st.

Millwork One Racing's Matt Kressy made us proud again today with a top ten finish in today's stacked 35+ road race!

Time to just "Let go"

I really need to stop fretting about road races, about getting dropped, about being over-trained, about being a poor climber.. and just do as Tyler Durden says: Let the chips fall where they may.. Wish me luck.

Looking back upon the past couple of seasons.. I find that the only road races I completed are two Bob Beal Road Races and one Topsfield Circuit Race where I surprisingly scored a decent finish in a large Pro-Am field. And to think! I had no power mater back in 2006. I just had good form on a good day, mixed with a lot of determination and a little bit of luck.

Sturbridge?

As much as I want to race and have a grand old time.. I have to remind myself that I am not known for being an excellent road racer. I actually do a poor job of being pack fodder lately! I raced in Rochester Sunday, GVCC Classic Pro-1-2-3.. When I felt highly uncomfortable during te neutral opening miles, I knew I was in for a joyless day. Racing commenced on a right hand turn and everyone took off with guns blazing.. that is, all 25 of us. I later discover that that very first acceleration took me to 1120 watts.. WTF are we doing over 1000 watts in the opening kilometer of a 70 mile road race?? Give me a break! Twenty or so minutes later, I was riding all by myself.. hating road races, swearing to stick only to crits and getting a nice sunburn in the process.. From there, I met up with my kid brother- told him to drive himself home and that I was gonna salvage my day with a good 3 hour ride. What a death march! I could barely hold zone 1-2 and I was feeling very much like I had just started in this sport- weak and untrained.
Monday I did a one hour recovery ride- still in Rochester- and covered a lot of the old roads I trained on as a junior back in the late eighties. It is absolutely astonishing how much farmland has been transformed into suburban communities of 2500 square foot homes! Disgusting. Food prices got you down? Eat your house!
Tuesday we were back in town (drove back Monday night) so I rode to work easy, rode home easy- still feeling like 1/2 a man.. (skipped the hill repeats I was supposed to do!) Wednesday I repeated the same- 12.5 mile easy ride to work, repeat on the ride home. Legs still feel like mush and tank feeling empty.. Today I ride to work and start feeling a touch better.. strength coming back.. hey I think I can do my scheduled intervals tonight! And so I did. Nailed every single one of them without a single watt of slippage in the numbers, all the way to the end. Hard CP6 intervals in zone 5b.. each of the three sets topped off with a 30 second CP1 effort.
Sturbridge (?) Do I dare? Here's the thing.. I'll hate myself more if I don't bother to try, than if I try and fail. Besides, four of my newest team mates are going to be there.. and one of them needs apparel from me. I think it's a no-brainer.. but in the back of my mind I'll be having recurring thoughts of sprinting at 1100 watts in the GVCC Classic just to keep up with the field! That really sucked balls. An off day in a small and stacked Pro-Am field. Recipe for disaster.. Saturday- having team mates will help. I'll grab the wheel of Ralf or Adam or Kyle and just fixate on it I guess. Maybe form will be there for a change! Maybe letting the spring unwind a little bit these past few days will do the trick. Thanks for reading.

Tour of Turkey: Have you ever seen such a prize list?

Remember that a Euro is worth more than a US dollar!
This total purse is worth 160,000 Euros- about $200,000 I think.
http://www.tourofturkey.org/awards.aspx

Rick Newhouse Criterium

I'm dead tired after a seven hour drive back from Rochester, so I may cut this short..
Saturday I raced the 35+ at Ninigret and was having a pretty good day.. until I discovered that the weird bouncy feeling in the rear tire which began 1/2 way through the race, was in fact a slow leak.. I must have looked pretty silly looking down at my tire after every corner. The same thing happened at Attleboro last year, and it turned out to NOT be a flat- just some slippiness in the corners.. so I shrugged it off as the same issue- after all these were brand spankin new Conti 4000S tires! With two laps to go I finally saw the tire for what it really was- 40 psi of soft mushy rubber. With my team mate Adam Sternfield up the road with Team Benidorm rider Wade, I was hoping I could just coast across the line and to hell with sprinting for 7th.. but then when they were overtaken with 1/2 lap left to go, I resolved to finish this thing without disgracing myself. So when a right handed surge erupted in the final bend, I followed it as best I could, put my head down and sprinted in the saddle- to take 6th in the field sprint (10th overall, 4 escaped early) A disappointment that they changed the prize list to 8 deep instead of 10.. Oh well! Such is bike racing..

Week of unrest (?)

Three hour ride after work today- rode home in the moonlight.. Who does three hour rides during a "rest week"?
Did 57 miles in 3:09:20.. same exact route as I did a couple Saturdays ago.
Was supposed to be a zone 2 leg opener, and it was.. Only 180w averaged.. but how on earth did I take a minute off of a previous time which required 211 watts? Was it the excess apparel? Extra bottle? Wind? Extra food I was carrying? Colder temp? Shoe covers? I don't know! but today's 30 watt drop SHOULD have given a time that was SLOWER, not faster. Maybe I just need to zero the torque or something.. Regardless- I took it real easy tonight- no mistake about that! In the small ring for most of the ride! Got out of the saddle for every little rise.. Never put myself in difficulty.. Maybe it's the new Continental 4000S tires I mounted last week? Seriously, this is weird. I guess training in nice weather requires less power.. Either that or my PT is an unreliable POS.

Tour of Turkey: Pettachi Wins Stage 2!

Money can't buy you love! The Tour of Turkey evolved in the span of one year, from having a 15,000 Euro purse to having a 150,000 Euro purse.. attracting all kinds of ProTour guns to the start of the opening criterium in Istanbul on Sunday. To wit, Mr Pettachi himself won yesterday's stage.. Too bad that Velo News couldn't be bothered to even register a blip on their radar. Really a sad shame. It kind of reinforces my belief that to many, it's not bike racing unless it is a WASP doing the pedaling/promoting. Forgive my cynicism, but it is apathy such as this which prevents the development of bike racing programs in the Middle East from taking root and growing. Such a waste that 150,000 Euros will be handed over to riders from Europe while the Turkish National Team suffers from a lack of equipment, bikes, apparel, HRMs and all of the other things we take for granted.

Please visit the official site of the International Presidency Tour of Turkey: http://www.tourofturkey.org/

In all of the years I've been following it, this is the classiest and most professional production ever seen. There are photos, results, course maps, profiles, the works.. No offense folks, but it's a heck of a lot more interesting that the number of people who signed up for the 'epic' Battenkill road race!

So much to report..

..but I must be brief. I tried to race the Chris Hinds Pro-1-2-3 on Saturday, and for whatever reason I completely and suddenly fell apart in the 30th minute. Fine and dandy. I knew I wouldn't be in race form anyway.. Save it for the 35+ later on.. Well the 35+ was called after Lap No 1 due to lightning.. We had to wait 10 minutes to restart, where it was announced that we would be racing another 35 minutes, barring any more lightning.. Then it began to rain really hard.. I toughed it out to the end, and chewed through the handlebars to try to get a top ten finish.. but fell short by a couple of places. 12th. Oh well- no regrets and no reason to fret.. I am flush with TSS from the past 4 weeks and due for serious rest this next week.
Ventured north to Wells Ave this morning and found the fields combined with 5 minutes before start! I've never pinned a number on so fast. Warm up? Pfffft. I was one the bike in no time, hammering like crazy from the get-go. Well, with an unadvantageous start, I missed the three man break which went from the gun and were never caught (this is a recurring theme at Wells lately..) So it was a race of riding around the blockers and trying to gain time on the escapees.. Who were they? I don't know but I salute their resolve, strength and success. You'll see them top three in the Wells results soon. As for me, I took a $5 prime (2nd in the two place prime actually) and then with a couple of laps to go, my new team mates did a fantastic job of setting the table for me to take the field sprint. 4th at Wells Ave for me.. very cool. Ralf and Kyle know what to do.. and they do it very well. I'm honored that they put faith in me and I'm happy that I didn't let them down. I'll be looking for chances to repay the favor. Thanks for reading. More later, maybe.

Performance Management Chart

Here it is: The Holy Grail of Peaks WKO+ Software.

The pink line indicates ATL- Acute Training Load. This is the rolling average of TSS for the past 7 days. (default is 7 days- can be changed to a different duration)

The blue line is the CTL- Chronic Training Load. This is the rolling average of TSS for the past 42 days. (again- default setting is 42 days- can be user controlled too)

The golden bars represent TSB- Training Stress Balance. It is also referred to as "form". When ATL and CTL are down and criss crossing each other on the chart, notice that form goes up. When the golden bars are at their peak, those are good days to be competing in important races. From the look of my chart, I will pretty much serve as pack fodder at Chris Hinds this weekend.. or maybe I'll be a force to be dealt with- I'm unpredictable.. and I'm feeling fatigued right now and in theory I won't be ripping anyone's legs off until I have a solid week of restful active recovery behind me.. which won't be until the weekend of 4/19..

FYI, this chart is dated from the time I started training for 2008- November 18th 2007. Since that first day, I've done 2858 miles in 172 hours, and the Powertap odometer reads 6500 miles since I first used it on May 12th of 2007. That toal doesn't include any of the fixed gear or off roading I did earlier in the winter. Thanks for reading.

Thursday's program, Tuesday's feedback

**********************************
20:00 WU
15 x 30 seconds at CP6 with 30-second spin recoveries. Stop if power drops below CP6 zone. Rolling starts, standing, big gear. Get to top end quickly.
15 min tempo
10 min spin
**********************************
Sounds simple enough! I love workouts with sub 3:00 minute intervals. 30 seconds? Piece of cake. My normalized FTP of last season was established to be 304 watts by doing a very similar one hour workout.
Here's Tuesday's planned workout, followed by some back and forth with Coach Scheske..
***********************************
20:00 WU
Do 4 minutes at CP10 (Z5a), with 4 minutes RI x2
3 sets.
5:00 between each set.
15:00 Spin recovery/endurance
************************************

Well they are YOUR numbers so it is as hard as YOU go! These workouts are hard no doubt about it.

Yeah weekend looks crap for weather.

---

From: Murat Altinbasak
Sent: Wednesday, April 09, 2008 8:55 AM
To: Todd Scheske
Subject: RE: CP10? Charts Mon Tues

I tought it was a pretty hard workout! 329 is my present CP5- doing it six times in succession and I would have been curled up in the gutter- fetal position- before the end.

I am stronger- I tell myself every day.

The right knee is better too btw.

I'm racing twice Saturday- Pro-Am and 35+. It's looks like it might be cold, wet and miserable- small fields.

Todd Scheske wrote:

below

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From: Murat Altinbasak
Sent: Tuesday, April 08, 2008 11:21 PM
To: Todd Scheske
Subject: RE: CP10? Charts Mon Tues

Todd,

I checked when I got home and CP10 at NP would be 329 watts! I'm glad I didn't know this because I would have surely ridden to failure somewhere during the 2nd interval.

[Scheske] yeah, and that would just mean that you are training hard and getting better…. Going easy is nicer and secures a place at the back of pack or back at the car and home early on a Sunday. ;)

I figured zone 5a would be about 300 watts, so that's what I aimed for, on all six intervals, missing the mark by a little bit, but pretty close. Had to skip the 5 min RI in between sets 2 and 3- I was running out of daylight. You'll find that intervals 5 and 6 were solid though.

[Scheske] don't worry about the number of intervals – do them on target and make them GOOD ones. I'd rather see 4 good intervals than 3 "so-so" ones and 3 lousy ones. (I did not look at the file yet)

I didn't feel 100% tonight. Long days at work with travel up to Boston are wearing me down.

[Scheske] work can be a detractor!

Am I going to have good legs this Saturday at Chris Hinds? I got 20th last year and want to be top five.. Looks like I'm pushing hard on Thursday again, and I already feel tired..

[Scheske] Saturday is not a priority race for you from what I remember, so I don't expect to see you on top form. We are working to build up right now. I'm not saying you won't be top 5 though since you are ahead of fitness from last year – but then again the race depends on who is there!

Monday's chart was copied from Tuesday's ride home, btw. I had forgotten my PT when I went to work with all my gear.

ttyl