Update on my father's condition

It's not so much that I want the whole world to know and feel pity or anything.. I have to get this stuff out of my system, and this blog is as good a listener as anyone. At least it doesn't judge me.. Here's where I "spill my poison", as the saying goes.. and no one has a gun to your head forcing you to read..

My father has lung cancer, stage 4, inoperable. Tumors have spread to his liver and to his bones.. His clavicle has been fractured by the tumor which grows on and around it, so pain is a big issue right now. When he was here a month or so ago, the doctor told him that chemotherapy would not be very effective, so my father declined the treatment. He decided to return to Turkey. As it turns out, he's started another round of chemo over there, and continues to treat the pain with morphine and other narcotic drugs. Last week he sounded quite cheerful on the phone.. Still on his feet, still trying to build his musical instruments, still smoking cigarettes too.. what's the point of stopping now if it gives you comfort? I wouldn't.

When my brother and I took him to TF Green airport the other month for his connection to JFK, we sat there with him at the gate, not knowing what to say or how to act. When it was time to board, we stood with him in line, said our farewells, hugged, kissed.. He entered the ramp to board and started walking away from us.. and just before turning the corner, he stopped, and he turned around and he looked at us for a moment, waving.. realizing that maybe, it was for the very last time. I almost fell apart right then and there.. and then he continued.. out of sight. As my younger brother and I walked down the concourse and away from the gate, I had to stay a few paces in front of him to hide the anguished and tearful look on my face.. and perhaps it would have been like looking in the mirror, had I turned around to face him, I don't know.. and who the hell knows what my father's face looked like after he turned the corner away from us.. I think I might have an idea, but it hurts to try and imagine it. Thanks for reading. 

Good things are happening

I just did what should be considered perhaps the most anal retentive move ever.. I RENEWED MY LICENSE for 2008, while it's still 2007.. Yes, not only did I have $60 burning a hole in my pocket.. and not only did I want to get my hands on the $30 coaching manual ASAP.. but the new Millwork One Racing was officially added to the Genesee Valley Cycling Club as an affiliate team on this date ..meaning that I could renew my license online, choose my new club and choose my new team. Much cooler than it sounds.. Many thanks to GVCC president Todd Scheske for making this happen for us so effortlessly. Good things are happening. Here's a screen shot of my USA Cycling account page:

Bisikletci Post No 321

Nothing much to report other than the fact that it's still.. colder than a witch's tit outside. 45 minutes on the rollers in zone1 just seemed like an eternity. It's cold enough in the garage that I train in there with long sleeve base layer, long sleeve jersey, hat, gloves and booties. Ugh.. I bore myself to death tonight.. Friggin Mondays just plain suck.

Good day to drive to work

I'm not insane. The decision to skip the bike ride to work was the correct one. My street had big patches of ice and snow that would have taken me down five different times before I even reached Main Street in West Warwick. I have two easy days before Wednesday's Field Test, which will be done on the wind trainer, in the garage. I haven't trained this much in December, EVER!

Eye openers

There's no denying that I can sometimes sound like a bull in a china shop.. but I guess sometimes that's what it takes to get other people to show their true colors. One thing's for sure.. there is no turning back for 'ol Murat. That's been made painfully clear by certain people who I thought were my friends. Shame on me for thinking I had some kind of immunity to being disliked. Meanwhile, the private e-mails from people who express their support for me have made this much more bearable- thank you.

I've Changed My Mind!

I'm not going to stop posting here! This is where I speak my mind about things.. I will post to both the new blog (http://www.m1racing.blogspot.com/) and to this old blog. Difference being, the M1Racing blog will be tailored as a destination suitable for any of the team's sponsors, family, friends or anyone else who we need to avoid offending.
(There was a time when all of my sponsors were listed and linked here. That ended last spring)
I have changed the address of Bisikletci.. to www.bisikletcimurat@blogspot.com just to eliminate my former association with Union Velo.. and because I want to stop embarrassing them with my foot-in-mouth disorder.. Interestingly, many readers seem to Google "union velo blog" in order to find me. No worries.
To those of you who I've reached out to recently for support or participation in the new Millwork One team, AND who have replied to me without leaving me hanging: eternal gratitude. Thank you for being a good sport and communicating, even if it didn't interest you to become involved... To those who blew me off and couldn't be bothered to reply: You suck balls.

A different matter: To the one former team mate who thought enough of me to reply and wish me well with my new team after reading my e-mail notifying everyone that I was moving on: Thanks a million, Campignone! Everyone else, I'm a little hurt, but I wish you the best that life offers, to enjoy in good health and happiness. Please keep in touch.

Time to End This Blog and Move On

Indeed, with only 17 days left as a Union Velo racer, the address of this blog needs to change.. Or.. I can leave this blog as it is, and start a new one with a new address, using this final post as a re-direct to the new address. Changing the address of this blog would be a limiting factor I think.
So.. without further ado.. please mozy on over to the new and hopefully improved blog, which I believe will be located at:
www.M1Racing.blogspot.com

Who rode to work this morning?

I did! I did! Bought a balaclava from Dick's last night- what a difference it makes to have complete coverage of the head and neck. Felt great to ride the new Redline 9-2-5 fixie in the 25 degree chill this morning. I'm beginning to enjoy and welcome the cold! Wet.. I'm not so sure about. Dick's had these extreme cold base layers by Under Armour and by Nike.. $60 each! Gaaaah! I was tempted, but then left it on the rack. Snow tonight? Glad I have my car here at work, in case I decide against riding home. If there's only flurries around 5:00 pm, I'm biking it home.

Those of you who do ride regularly in these frigid conditions.. does it make you feel like a bad ass? ..kind of like George Castanza in that "tough guy" episode of Seinfeld? Wondering if it's just me.. So cool to do what most others are completely unwilling and unable to do, I'm discovering..

Another Co-Sponsor Signs on to the Millwork One team

I won't name the company right now, but I'll say that they are a partner company of Millwork One which fabricates solid surface materials such as Corian and Zodiaq. When they received the offer from me via e-mail, they didn't hesitate, the check's already in the mail to me. Smart move- buying into the racing project of a very big customer (Millwork One). They've just guaranteed their future as a sub contractor for MIllwork One. What goes around comes around.. As a woodwork project manager in constant need of reliable suppliers, vendors and sub contractors, this makes certain buying decisions rather easy.
If only I could say the same for the limited reach of this blog! Unfortunately for me, everyone and their brother rushed over to join the NBX Bikes team this past fall, and it's as though they're giving everyone free kits and free bikes and free herion or something.. Fine and dandy! but where's mine? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Christopher Dale and Jim Peters to death- like brothers to me and I hardly know them- and I do so want to look like a pack of Viceroy cigarettes (tongue in cheek! don't anyone cry!)... but somehow when love comes to town, it always forgets to knock on Murat's door. So here I am with a new title sponsor, new team apparel, cash in hand, and no one to share it with yet. Oh well!
Does anyone know how to reach Tom Officer? He's old, wise and FAST. We remodeled a bunch of Coach Stores together about 7-8 years ago.. we're both former mill rats. I believe he can be persuaded.

Need to do a better job of...

..getting to bed by 10:00 pm! I often get carried away with the many personal projects I am managing, often keeping me awake past midnight!

..laying out my clothing and loading my backpack the night before I plan to ride to work. I lose so much time running around looking for gloves, booties, keys, wallet, socks, whatever.

..getting to work on time! the above two issues have a huge impact.. though generally I get to work earlier on days when I ride the bike in- I tend to jump out of bed more enthusiastically. No surprise there, eh?

..recruiting people to the Millwork One racing team! I'm still an army of one! It's true I will be ordering enough clothing to cover 4-6 people.. no need to be impatient or rush things.. but where the heck is everyone? Does every team out there cover ALL gasoline and ALL entry fees? Man alive, it's like herding cats.. Should I just start winging jerseys around at the next training race to whoever will take them? No, but I hear that this has worked for others. Maybe Millwork One should be a WOMEN"S TEAM! We'll see..

Commuting by Bike: Hazardous to your mental health (?)

Yesterday, I decided to punish myself with a bike commute to and from work. I use the word "punish" because I've been quite a sissy-boy in the "cold weather riding" department. Resolving to ride the fixed gear bike to work 2-3 times a week, all winter long, I decided to pick one of the nastier days as a way to "break myself in". "Future rides to work won't seem as bad" I reasoned.. Well.. aside from a quick fall on black ice, my ride to work was quite enjoyable, all 9 miles of it. The ride home.. a different story.. It wasn't the darkness that ruined it, it wasn't the cold wind or the damp drizzle or the slick roads.. It was the people who I shared the road with. Quittin' time does something to New Englanders I think. Getting home seems to be a bigger urgency than getting to work, that's for damn sure. 

A motorist driving an enormous pick up truck- the kind with four rear wheels and four doors- thoughtfully slowed to my pace, lowered his window, wagged his finger and yelled at me to "GET ON THE SIDEWALK!". On at least three other occasions, motorists blared their horns at me, and then once they could get past me, gunned the throttle while shaking their heads in disapproval. I can't read their moving lips too well, but their "body language" makes it pretty clear that feathering their brakes for a few seconds while basking in the warmth and comfort of their car, in order to avoid pasting the road with my shivering body parts, , is not appreciated.. at all.

Mentally, it really takes the wind out of your sails. You know you're doing something good for the body, for the mind and even for the environment, but those who can't afford to be delayed for 5 seconds by a human life perched precariously on top of a 20 pound machine going 20 miles an hour through the darkness on top of frozen asphalt, really make it hard to be optimistic about anything to do with PEOPLE. Enough said.

If you're a motorist and encounter a person riding a bicycle on the road, try something new: YIELD deliberately- give way- wave them through- let them pass before you make your turn. I PROMISE you that the cyclist will respond to you with a wave and a smile, or otherwise go out of their way to express thanks. If they don't, caulk it up as a rare exception- friendly motorists are so rare these days that sometimes an act of kindness is met with shock or disbelief. Have faith. WE still do.. or else we'd give up on this bike cummuting thing entirely.

The Story of STUFF with Annie Leonard: For Shame, America!

This 20 minute video called "The Story of STUFF", is good stuff indeed. Many thanks to my dear sister Elif, for sending it my way.

Severe weather alert?! Bah!

For whatever reason (demonic possession?) I rode the fixie to work this morning, falling down only once (right onto the same knee I bruised on Saturday at Goddard. Grrr.) Maybe I'm trying to toughen myself up a bit. Being a weenie because of cold or inclement weather is costing me, and I want to ride as much as anyone else does in the winter, for a change. 

Team Millwork One: Decisions, decisions..

These are the preliminary designs created by Turin Design (www.turindesign.com) for the new team. The final assembly of co-sponsors is not included yet. I really like the both of them, it's going to be a tough call. We seem to be on schedule to place our clothing order by 12/17 though!

6th Annual W.E. Stedman GP of Cross

Full results (Murat's DFL!)
Yours truly decided this morning that he wanted to compete in a cross race- that is.. my annual "let me remind myself how bad I suck at cross" event. Truthfully though, I was excited about today's race in the Elite 35+.. I arrived alone, kind of late.. Registered at about 9:30, leaving 30 minutes to ride my bike back to my car, attach my number (which I did with my skinsuit ON- don't ask how) take a wizz, warm up, practice some dismounts in the field (something I haven't done since the '06 Canton Cup) and line up to race for a 10:00 am start. Regrettably, my so-called "useless" rear frog leg brake lever broke before the start, meaning that in order to have any rear braking power at all, I needed to have my left hand in the drops at all times. This was a real buzz kill because my lack of off road and cyclocross experience means that my lower back is extremely sensitive to such abuse.. Man alive did my lower back throb towards the end.. Being the last to register positioned me at the back of the field at the start.. and I didn't do so terrible in the first lap- I actually had 10-20 people behind me until a certain point. But the hesitance and shit braking in the hairpins cost me a lot and it wasn't long before I relegated myself to being the guy who was "just there for the training". Just before being lapped by Jonny Bold, I took a bad fall in the turn which most resembled a corkscrew.. Almost knocked the wind out of me, and it did mess up my brakes even more. I got up immediately and by the time I "finished" about six guys total lapped me.. In the spirit of "finish what you start", I proceeded to do another lap (at a soft pace) just to be able to say that I did as may laps as everyone else. Great to see GeWilli in action.. I had a lot of fun, saw Larry King, Chris Dale, Jim Peters and others in the sideleines shouting words of encouragement at me. Very cool. I don't know if I'll race tomorrow.. I guess if the mood strikes, I'd like to try, but my training program requires me to do four hours on the fixed gear tomorrow. (Three hours were required today, but I raced instead). Nice day, nice venue and course, and good training for the whole body. My right ankle is killing me, still weak and tender from a sprain I had over a year ago. Next up: Preliminary MILLWORK ONE team kit designs! I need help choosing one color theme over the other. Let me know what you think.

Minuteman Road Club CycloCross 35+ VIDEO 12-2-07

Here's the vid I promised. Seems to have been recorded ar 12:20, making this the end of the 1st/beginning of the 2nd lap. I spy Solo and Ge in there.. looking pret-ty good. Nice work on a very cold day.. You're all nuts.

My new fixed gear winter riding toy: REDLINE 9-2-5

No doubt the ugliest bike in my fleet, but that will change after I swap out those awful handlebars. I wanted a comfortable fixed gear bike with brakes and fenders.. This is by far the best value.. so it was a no-brainer. Many thanks to Rick at Union Velo for the great price and service, per usual.. Also bought some neoprene booties, a new wind trainer (to replace the one I gave to my dad) and a front wheel block (something I've never owned before). Tried to do a field test on the rollers last night and discovered that the resistance is too low. In the 5 minute "blowout" portion, I was in the 53x11 and plates in the cupboard were shaking.. Of course it doesn't help that my rearest drum has 1/4" of lateral play.. (I've owned those rollers since 1993) I eeked out 318 watts in the 5 minutes (had the 53x11 going at 102 rpm average) and it was quite apparent that the 1 minute "all out" efforts would be impossible. Field test aborted. Either have to do it on the frozen roads or on the new wind trainer.. but not in THIS thing, that's for sure.
The other night I discovered how to make one hour on the rollers minimally bearable: remove the stopwatch from the display and look at cadence. DUH. Yeah I was actually watching the minutes tick by before I had this forehead slapper of an idea. My mp3 collection takes me to about 50 minutes before I get really bored, then I check the time and switch to my favorite few track to get to the end of 60 minutes. One other thing which helps is basically goofing around occasionally. The other night I killed about 10 minutes practicing the rollers with no hands.. I've gotten quite good at it- I can now do it without holding onto anything- go from the bars to no hands and back no problem. Even recorded some of it with my camera, I was so impressed with myself. Maybe I'll show it later. Maybe not. Funny thing is, my pelvis tilts to the right uncontrollably when I go no hands. It's like my right leg is shorter than my left or something. Either that or the floor's not level. Thanks for reading.
Okay I'm back.. F-it.. Here it is. In this video, I actually speak.. which made me feel like a freak as I spoke to an inanimate object. CTodd, I don't know how you do it. I think it takes elephant sized testicles to put yourself out there like that.

Team MILLWORK ONE is born today

Its official. The President phoned me this morning to tell me that my proposal is accepted. Gasoline cost of traveling to races will be covered by Millwork One for all team members.. Which as of this date, is only me.
I'm fired up!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi gets a Pinarello

Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi poses with a bicycle he received by Italian Cycling team during a meeting at Chigi Palace in Rome December 4, 2007. REUTERS/Tony Gentile (ITALY)

MRC Cross Race

Well if you were in Wrentham yesterday in the 21 degree absence of heat, you saw my dear wife and I freezing our tookas' off while promoting our line of LIKEaBIKE kid's bikes. To those who took an interest and stopped to chat, many thanks for giving us a break from teth chattering. For our part, we contributed two Frog Lights to the merchandise prizes, and the organizers were very accommodating to let us park in the area which was off limits to most. If not for a raw sore throat, I was seriously thinking about considering the possibility that I might want to try to possibly race.. Haha. Maybe next weekend at Goddard I'll show off my pitiful sloth like cyclocross inability.. We had three bloggers (CTodd, Solo and GeWilli) in the 35+ event yesterday and I felt like such a weenie for not counting myself among them. Recorded some video footage which I will share later.