Friday, August 01, 2008
Burnt?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
171-1/2
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Nonigret
Monday, July 28, 2008
Two month look ahead
Next weekend: Concord Crit
August 9: Rochester Twilight Crit
August 17: Fall River Crit
August 23: Chris Thater Memorial Crit
September 13-14: Bob Beal Stage Race
Other events will be thrown into the mix, on impulse.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Pissed
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Friday, July 25, 2008
'A mountain bike changed my life'
Dave Schweidenback saw transformative effects of bikes while in the Peace Corps
More than 115,000 used bikes have been sent to 32 developing countries since '91
Low-cost bikes help local residents gain access to jobs, health care and schools
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Smelly shoes: "This can't be healthy"
Monday, July 21, 2008
Weekend of Rest
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Thursday, July 17, 2008
Dead Legs
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Jouney Ends
Healing is not a destination, it's a journey. Healing is repair. Healing makes what was broken, stronger than it was before. In order for my father to build his first kanun from scratch, he needed to break his 25 year old kanun down into a pile of broken wooden parts, in order to know how to build one himself. And when we bike racers ttake punishingly fast training rides, perform eye popping intervals and leg breaking climbs, we're also destroying things in order for them to be rebuilt stronger, in order to force an adaptation which makes us better, faster, more powerful.. And never were the six words I now live by more compelling and beautiful than when Father began chemotherapy treatment, which pumps a harmful poison into the body in a sort of scorched earth manner, killing most of the bad cells but also devastating some of the good.. Like a controlled forest fire. I saw what he went through and I saw him fight and never give up. I saw him down, and I saw him getting kicked while he was down. I've even kicked him a few times myself, long ago.. I saw him getting back up over and over and over again. No matter how hard he hit the deck.. He was my champion.. And he is sorely missed.
From all of this, no one has become as enriched as I have.. No one.. And now, these six words ring as true as ever:
"We are created, by being destroyed."
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Sunday, July 13, 2008
Ivan Basso, or not?
New Britain Pro-Am
Updated** New Britain Criterium: 15th
The 30+ which followed- Another break, which went very early. The field was letharic and I was feeling okay.. but then I made a bone headed move on the final lap, right in the start finish- I attacked and took a flyer. I was swallowed and spit out the back with 1/2 lap to go.. What was I thinking? Maybe that my legs were not totally fried from racing 5 times in the past 24 hours? Stupid me.. Finished pretty much DFL. There was a 7 man break up the road, and sprinting for 8th didn't seem too interesting. Only 35 or so starters anyway.. I'm bummed right now.. But I'm resting up for the Pro race which starts in about an hour. Just want to motorpace that one and maybe sneak into the top 20 somehow. That might make me feel better.
Hindsight, it's stupid to do so many races and expect to be fresh enough for a good result. Skip race no 1, let everyone lose their freshness and jump into the 2nd race. Yesterday, Bill Y did just that at Attleboro and won. Didn't tire himself out racing the 35+ and the Pro race. My 6th at Keith Berger two weeks ago was no accident. Mine was the race after the 40+, so 1/2 the field was tired and hurting. They happily let the break go, and with my fresh legs I had a big advantage. I already knew this stuff, but I just love to race. Guess I should be happy with my mediocrity. I'm diluting my ability across too many events, by choice. Maybe it's time to adjust the game plan for the rest of the season. Skip the first Master race, do the 2nd one with guns blazing. Do what works for a change. Thanks for reading
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Updated 9:55 pm
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Attleboro Criterium 2008 Results
As for me, I used today as a tune up for tomorrow's New Britain Criterium. Not to say I didn't try today- I did.. but I didn't turn myself inside out for a result either. In the 35+ I felt like a P.O.S. and got 22nd. In the Pro-1-2 I had hardly any water, and after 30 very easy minutes motorpacing the field, I had to quit or risk dehydration. In the 30+ I felt a little better and got 10th in that one, which sounds great, but only 29 finished. I was feeling good about it until I discovered that the 10 places which were advertised on Bikereg were changed to 8 places. Why there are two different race flyers? I have N.F.I. but it was a buzz-kill. A good day at the races. Our Matt Kressy took 8th in the Pro race and Kyle Gates took 11th in the 35+. Adam got himself into a couple of strong looking breaks but they didn't stick. We had Joe, Scott and Brendan in the cat 3 race, we had Brendan and Scott in the 30+ race, Mike Samartano in the 35+ race and I discovered later that he hit the deck in that one. I hope he's in one piece.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Tour of the Hiltons
Saturday, July 05, 2008
For Future Reference
MapMyFitness
Not a drop of rain during all of this.. I came home after 2:47:17 on the bike, and then went back out for another 15 minutes to spin and cool down.. and to make it an even 60 miles/3 hours. This ride should pay dividends later on. Having skipped Fitchburg (per usual for me) I wanted to do a ride which was at least comparable in duration to what everyone raced today up in Mass.. (though my route climbs only 2500' total) I don't think I can repeat the effort today. My legs are really cooked. If anything I'll do a few hours in the little ring, take a trip down to Narragansett Beach or Scarborough with my backpack. Put my feet in the sand.. lay down and relax.. assuming it stops raining.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Nin-regrets
Nothing much to report besides spending as much time as humanly possible at the front, suffering immeasurably.. Then an unfortunate event- our man Brendan stacked it up in the sharp leftie, or should I say in "Murat's corner".. A few of us stopped to make sure he wasn't road kill.. just some epidermal deletions that looked like scrambled eggs. Yum. So I got to take a lap's rest with about 6 to go. Once we knew Brendan wasn't going to die on us, I jumped back into the action and gave a few digs at the front for the remaining 5 laps. Kudos to brother Rick K for separating himself from our chase group and soloing home. I tried to reach, I pulled off looking for help with 1/2 lap to go, and the boys just didn't have it to bridge. Nice. Good times were had by all (except Brendan.. for whom bathing will now SUCK for many days)
Caught out
Sunday, June 29, 2008
The rest of the story..
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Keith Berger Criterium 30+
I went right from the gun. Never saw the field again. Took the first prime. Got in the early break of 9 with 22 left to go. Whittled down to 5 of us with 15 to go. I got a little tired and had to let the other 4 roll away from me, but I kept my head down for about 6 laps solo. I couldn't risk blowing up so I kept it steady. Two chasers caught up to me (Patrick Ruane and another) and we drilled it nice and easy to the end. I had the final sprint for 5th in the bag but I pulled out of my right pedal with about 100m to go. Clipped back in and buried myself, threw the bike and took 2nd in the sprint, 6th overall, out of 41 finishers. Patrick was 7th by a hair (after leading it out for the last lap)
Finally a decent result! I'm happy. This feels good for a change. Thanks for reading.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
You never truly realize..
Such loss also reveals things you could not see before.. Stuff you don't want to acknowledge, truths which you refuse to accept.
Ask yourself why you love to do "x" activity so much. The obvious answers eclipse the real answer..and when the real answer is no more, the obvious ones are suddenly not so compelling. Enough said?
The late irfan Altinbasak is on the far left.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
New Millwork One Team Member: Murat Akyazi
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Ninigret Crit
EURO 2008 Semi Final
Will be a tough game for Turkey!
Starts at 2:30. I'll be home watching.
Then to Ninigret afterwards..
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wompatuck tonight?
Monday, June 23, 2008
Hindsight
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Whaling City Cyclone Crit
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Nutmeg Crit
30+: DNF- quit with 5 to go after 20 minutes in 7 man break- unable to breath due toe cramps that were centered on my back/kidneys
Pro-3: Finished 56th of the 111 man field (90 +/- finishers) minor cramping in the final laps.
Tomorrow: Three crits at the Whaling City Cyclone. Please, no rain!
Friday, June 20, 2008
FUuuuuuuuuck Yeeeeeeaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thursday, June 19, 2008
Don't laugh..
I still remember the day I received this plastic bike. I think it's my 5th birthday or something, we live in Woodside, Queens, where my father is super of an apartment building, AND a full time cabinet maker for a shop that's across the street from Shea Stadium.. This bike was stolen from me in Kew Gardens (we had moved) in broad daylight, by a couple of ten year olds who decided they wanted it. Good times.
Nine-grit
Monday, June 16, 2008
Harlem Skyscraper Classic: Crash!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Harlem Crit Race Report and Results
Murat is a lucky 18th. How I made it through that carnage without laying it down- a miracle. Murat loses his nerve when people are kissing the asphalt all around him. That I let myself get swarmed with 1/2 lap to go sucks balls, but I have all my skin so I live to race another day.
In the Cat 3 race which followed- (see below) 79 starters and 73 finishers- the road dried out nicely. More later.
Friday, June 13, 2008
19 mile climb: Uludag, Bursa, Turkey
A little farther up the road we find the ski lodge and the ski lifts.
Curry Chicken. The flight to Boston wasn't so bad.. I swiped the eating utensils and the blanket as payback for charging me 90 Euros for an extra suitcase. It has mostly my dad's personal stuff in it Lufth-douche-bags!
The view from my uncle's summer house balcony in Burgaz. Maybe if I can get a training camp organized for next spring, we can use his place as a base. Should sleep 6 comfortably.
The view from about 1200 feet, near Gundogdu, looking down upon the coastal town of Kursunlu. The climb out of Kursunlu rises 400 feet in the first 1/2 mile.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Harlem or bust
Nini-great!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
No Service up here
8:15 pm: Looks like dinner is being served. People belly ache about airline food. I like it. Each meal is a challenge: to try and finish everything without wasting any of it- hard to do. There's always something on the tray which sucks.. Why don't they ever serve soup on airplanes? Just curious. More than six hours until we land. For me, it will be the same as 2:30 am. By the time I drive home and get to bed it will be 4:30 my time.. (9:30 Eastern) I'm expected at work tomorrow. Chicken Curry has arrived.
8:44 pm: there's so much to look forward to.. After these six hours are through that is.. After making my inflight meal disappear I felt a wave of happiness poured down on my head- only for a few seconds.. The feeling lingers.. But it might be from the wine I'm sipping. Took a picture of my Lufthansa food for you (I'll add it here later) This Airbus is not full so people have picked their own seats. The guy who was originally next to me has relocated. I have the window and aisle seat to myself. Alone. Soon, my sister will join my wife, son, mother and brother in Turkey. I will truly be by myself in terms of immediate family all being 8000 miles away.. And with Father gone it's going to feel extra weird. I'm a person who loves to be independent, to answer to no one, a solitary Lone Ranger/Assassin type.. But this next few weeks might be tough. Then again, it might be an opportunity to really focus on work and on racing with a minimum of distraction. I'd better make the very best of it.
11:26 pm: I'm going into and out of light sleep while my mp3 player blasts my brains out. Current selection: Green Day's Jesus of Suburbia. Just before that Papa Roach. Foo Fighters' Best of You follows. Three hours left. More wine? More sleep? This journey takes forever when you're by yourself.
12:28 am: just returned from a walk to the back of the plane to do some stretching and a visit to the lav. I did 20 miles of climbing Saturday, in the rain. It didn't really hit me until yesterday, but it feels like I've really hurt my lower back- like there's a knife in there being twisted against bone. Of course it didn't help that I did another tough climbing ride Sunday with the locals. Smaller group this time, but a more interesting route. We climbed up to Gundogdu, plunged down into Kursunlu and followed the coast to Guzelyali/Burgaz. Past my uncle's summer house and onto the four mile climb up Old Mudanya Road. Then a nice flat ride into the city and home. My friends Zafer and Murat were both Kings of the long climbs- I summited third on both of them, solo. But on the rollers on the coast, they weren't as fast as me. The fatigue from the previous day's mountain climb and the lower back pain really made it impossible to match pace with these guys on the big hills. I don't mind. On the run-in to the city of Bursa I put the hammer down and had it wound up to 35 mph on the flats. Only one could follow me and pull through: Murat. So he's good on the climbs and on the flats.. He's the latest addition to Millwork One Racing. I gave him a kit and our little team has just become international! Two Murats are better than one. One caveat (which I happen to love) is that Murat is a spitting image of Steve Buscemi. Good man.. I look forward to mailing him some more team schwag when I get home.
2:08 am: about 1/2 hour until we land at Logan. I am craving sushi enough that I may stop at Haruki on the way home, if it isn't too late. Will I be too tired to race at Ninigret on Wednesday? What am I pre-registered for this weekend? I don't even remember. The plane is finally beginning to descend from 40,000 feet. The coloe scheme of this airline seems to remind me of something.. Like the gold and silver uniforms of a certain New England racing team.. Now to decide whether these Lufthansa blankets are nice enough that I want to swipe one.. Might come in handy for using as a race day kilt.
All the above was during yesterday's flight to Boston. I'm now back at work.. And so tired.
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Sunday, June 08, 2008
15-1/2 hours..
The past two weeks seem like a bad dream. I still can't believe my Father is gone. I haven't had any emotional breakdowns since the funeral- the day that I more or less cried all day. I leave for home tomorrow by myself while dear wife and son stay behind for five extra weeks. I'm pre-registered for 16 criteriums in four weekends, so I have my work cut out for me.. Not to mention all the unsolvable knots I need to untangle when I return to work- two weeks away from a construction position is an eternity.
It's gonna be an interesting summer.. But.. I feel lost, as though my North Star has been extinguished.
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Saturday, June 07, 2008
Be Home Soon
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Long climb up Uludag
Vertical Rise: 5400 feet
Duration to top: 2:09
Rained almost the whole way up!
Only a 5 percent average grade, but after 10 miles of climbing, 5 percent starts to feel like 10.. I recorded the elevation profile with the Polar. Brother followed me up in the car. We have pictures which I'll post next week.
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Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Steep Climbing
Monday, June 02, 2008
Pay 10 times more in Turkey
Price in Turkey: 795 YTL (about $700)
I told the sales girl and she rambled on about how this one was the lightest in the world blah blah.. Whoever buys that thing for 795 YTL should be skinned alove for their idiocy.
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Sunday, June 01, 2008
Training Day
So we rode to the end of the highway and after regrouping we went onto a country road for about 5 miles- into a little village where we raided a tea garden and took over the place. Someone bought a huge warm loaf of country bread and two kilos of soft country feta cheese. Everyone ordered hot Turkish tea. Bikes sprawled out everywhere. Good food, good company, good weather.. It all adds up to a very memorable and enjoyable ride. On the way back I hit a pothole large enough to swallow a small child. I swear I hit it so hard that I saw the fork flex enough for the tire to hit the frame.. Both bottles went flying. One of the cages is kaput. Changed the flat in 5-6 minutes and we headed back out of the country village and back onto the highway. I stopped to pee and everyone got a 2 minute gap on me. They had said they would take it easy and wait for me, but judging from the fragments of the group which I began to catch up to, they were working hard to make it harder for me. A few grabbed my wheel along the way, so by the time I caught onto the tail of the roadies who were pressing the pace, I had a tail of 4-5 guys with me. Feeling good, I rode up to the front and uncorked a hot 2 minutes to the top of the hill. Only three others could follow, but none could pull through. We were doing 34 mph on the flats between the hills. Up the final climb, I pulled for the first half way up, let the others pull through, and then hit it hard again over the top. Only one could follow, but I rode him off my wheel in the last 100m of the climb. I'm not beating my chest over being faster on the road than a bunch of mountain bikers. I just had a good time that's all. This ride was great for my morale. Overall we did 60 miles in about 3:10, but this doesn't include about 20 minutes between flatting and peeing. Thanks for reading.
Almost turned to scrambled eggs when my front tire blew!
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Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday Funerals are the Best..
It's bright, sunny and 80+ degrees, just like every day is here in Mudanya, just like California. I'm looking forward to my next bike ride, my next race, and every one which follows.. Because I have this far fetched hope.. That Father will finally and easily see how hard I try.. How seriously hard I work to be the best I can be.. He'll excitedly stand with a clenched fist as I wind up a finishing sprint and attack and open up an unclosable gap..
I'm delirious.. Dreaming.. I miss him so much..
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Thank you..
We're about to leave to go and choose a site for Father at the Mudanya cemetary. He loved it here by the ocean.
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Thursday, May 29, 2008
After
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Whose Nightmare is this?
If I knew that I would live for another 40 years, I'd happily split them 50-50 with my father. We'd go into the dark together, 20 years from now.
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A new day
He's hanging in there. I told him repeatedly that my brother will be here today. His breathing is getting labored. He hasn't taken any food or drink in the last 40 hours because every drop of food causes a gag reflex and a fit of coughing on phlegm that has nested in his throat. He used to be able to clear it and spit but not anymore. The IV doesn't work either- it goes for ten minutes and then backs up and blood is everywhere. His veins are all shot from the chemo treatments.
We're just "getting ready" for the inevitable at this point. I'm emotionally drained. Last night I sat with him and told him I love him very much, that I always have.. That he's my champion and hero and not to be afraid..
Damn.
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Wednesday, May 28, 2008
45 minute spin
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Hondas in disguise
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Day 4: climber's heaven
Father seems to have taken a step backwards today.. All the forward momentum of yesterday erased. The initial shock of when I first saw his emaciation has passed.. But I can't help but feel a certain disconnect from my emotions. It's like a circuit breaker has tripped- it did it's job of protecting me from overload and complete failure. Tears no longer well up when I look down at his broken body. Guilt about my easy-going nature, my 3 hour bike rides.. Guilt rears it's head and pokes me in the ribs occasionally. Must be a form of adaptation. In order for me to be strong enough to feed him by spoon and to keep him clean and to help him clear phlegm and wipe his mouth, certain systems require disabling.
Thursday my brother arrives and maybe then I'll hit the reset button.. Though I must admit that it's easier this way.. And that I am very afraid.
I'm not a religious person.. In spite of my family's best efforts to indoctrinate me.. I'm agnostic. Believe it when I see it. There's maybe probably a G-d.. If so, he's not a participant or an influence on our lives.. For this reason, prayer is futile. Buy powerball tickets man, because that has a greater chance of enhancing your life. G-d can't help you.. And if he did, it would be pretty unfair to all of those who are sick and dying or killed senselessly every second of every day.. Who helped them? Were they overlooked for not praying? Or for not praying to the correct G-d? To me' G-d's more like an apathetic observer.. Powerless or at least unable to show it. I am infuriated by the words "Thank God!" Or "It's G-d's will". For fuck's sake stop giving credit to G-d for your hard work AND THEN giving him praise for tragic events! Stop it. If you triumph, give yourself the credit. If you have cancer, it wasn't "G-d's fucking will" either. Sorry if I offend. I do not mean to indoctrinate and I do not disrespect those with faith- my father is deeply religious. He was anyway- but maybe that's changed..
I don't believe in hell.. Which brings me to the whole point of this rant: I find the concept of Heaven very hard to believe as well.. But in these last few days, for the sake of my father, I'm at least hoping for it with all my heart. Thanks for reading.
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Day three
Father seemed to improve marginally yesterday.. But he looks a little more tired this morning. Pulse is down to 96 today from 120.. I don't know if it's a good sign. He can't speak. He can't stand or walk without two people assisting him.. He's too weak to eat or bathe or do anything really. We need a full time nurse because Im here for only so long and his wife is exhausted both mentally and physically. There is no such thing as a "hospice" in Turkey, or so I'm told. Got cancer? You're on your own.
Yesterday while out on the roads I suddenly became very aware of a few observations:
1. Everyone.. smokes.. cigarettes.
2. Men walking hunched over, hands often behind their backs, with big beer bellies and narrow downward sloping shoulders outnumber all other 'types' on the street. Occasionally you'll spy one who's in between cigarattes, but it's rare.
3. Young misguided teenage boys with absolutely AWFUL looking 'mohawk-ish" haircuts.. Are everywhere and should be beaten to in inch of their life or until they agree to shave that travesty of hair clean off their heads. 4. Young girls with their heads covered with scarves.. Not only do they appear freakishly top heavy and androgenous.. They also seem to outnumber the other girls by a factor of 3:2. Do I have to go to the south coast in order to see some eye candy??
5. The coolest cars are in Turkey: Seat, Renault, Citroen, Peugeot, Fiat, Skoda, Alfa Romeo.. These companies do not sell in the US.. But if they did, their sporty looking compact models would be very popular.. The compact class is very limited in the US, but not for long I think.
6. Turkish people love to gawk, laugh, point and sometimes shout at handsome and muscular bike racers who are wearing great looking team uniforms and going very fast.
:)
Thanks for reading.
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Sunday, May 25, 2008
Mudanya-Bursa
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Apologies..
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Sunday morning
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Saturday, May 24, 2008
Nothing left to do
I do not recognize my father's appearance.. And in his incoherence I have doubts about whether he recognizes me. The shock and awe of seeing his wife carry him to the bathroom heimlich style.. Paled in comparison to the moment they emerged from the bathroom.. And father's legs gave out... The same legs that raced bikes 45 years ago.. And I lifted his weak and crumpled body from the floor the way that a father carries his slumbering 5 year old child and I carried him to his bed, for a moment astonished at my burst of strength.. until I realized how much he's wasted away.
This has been the most difficult hour of my life.
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Greetings from Frankfurt
Three hour layover until our flight to Istanbul starts boarding. Gotta love Lufthansa!! They took the bike case without asking for an extra dime.. Of course it might be because we are entitled to 6 suitcases and only had 4.. The bike case was the lightest piece too.. Maybe they'll nail me on the return leg.. We're docked at a table and chairs in front of a panoramic view of the airfield. It's pretty awesome. The Airbus ride here was six hours, and that plane was huge.. You take a flight of stairs down to the toilets. Private Lcds in front of every seat.. You choose your own movie, cartoon or sitcom. I was seated next to a 350 pound mouth-breather who cursed at my son in German when he accidentally kicked the guy.. I didn't take offense. Germans usually do not seem to be crazy about kids (Sorry Ralf- they're generally just plain cold towards their own kids and especially towards the kids of others) Me, I don't think twice about talking with or winking/smiling at little kids. I'd pick them up and kiss them if I knew I wouldn't be assaulted by their parents.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Women's Lib Arrived on Bicycles
Bifurcated garments called bloomers were scandalous
Escorts needed to protect women from becoming morally debased by their bikes
1900 U.S. Census Report said bicycles caused "revolution in social conditions"