Grrrrrr. I continue to be eluded by the finish line of a road race.. It's no coincidence that all of the races I've ever won were criteriums. Why I continue to bash my head in trying to do an event I suck at, G-d only knows.. Maybe it's the fluke result (if you can call it that) which I earned at Topsfield last year in the P-1-2-3 race. Gave my confidence some wings.. but a few weeks later at Jamestown P-3, I quit after the first 54 minute lap. I was gassed. Seems that on a really good day, I can finish a road race. Anything less, and my heart isn't into it. The head prevails.. It says.. "You are suffering like a dog on the first lap, you shouldn't be in difficulty.. You are pack fodder today with no hope of even riding at the front, much less cracking top 20.. Three, four or five more laps of this will make you feel even worse.. and for what? To say you finished? 80th? DFL? Stop punishing yourself.. You're better than this.. Go home.. lick your wounds.. rest.. toss your training/rest plan in the circular file and start over.. Anything worth doing, is worth doing right.. All or nothing.."
Story of my life, those last three words..
After the first lap, a few miles past the finish, we were cresting a rise and I couldn't see the top.. I'm in the big ring and I notice a lot of others are in the little ring.. Should have followed suit, but I felt committed. After the top, I'm fading, dangling at the very back, legs sloshing with lactic acid, they don't want to go anymore.. It's at this point when a switch is thrown, one which illuminates the "This isn't fun anymore" sign.. I'm not a masochist, I race because I tend to enjoy it immensely, and polluting that enjoyment by forcing a bad day into a death march, isn't good for my future in the sport. After I begin to coast, a very friendly racer passes by, slows down and asks my name. In times when I want to turn invisible, I forget my manners- I didn't ask his name.. Hopefully he visits here and says hi. A few seconds later, Gewilli comes bombing down the road and the two of them try to rally me into a 40 mile training ride.. I consider it as I produce more acid trying to accelerate.. but my mind was already made up. The fire was smothered completely.. would not re-ignite. I pulled a u-turn back towards my wife and kid who were waiting for me at the Warren School. Regrets for that guys.. Thanks for trying and I hope you got more out of it than I did.
I think I'll clear my calendar of all road races for the next 30 days. "Stick to what you know" seems to ring true right now.
"All or nothing".. Destructive behavior? or not?
America's #1 Balance Bike Destination
America's #1 Balance Bike Destination
3 comments:
You need more speedwork...
At least that's what i've been told...
If you'd stuck with me and that guy (i didn't get his name either) we might not have been sucked in by the 45+ (until the 3rd lap)....
Coulda used your legs on that deathmarch we were trying to sell as "training"
"Finish what you start"
That is what my grandfather always said: "Finish what you start."
Meaning don't go around quitting...
Besides, wouldn't it have been a better impression for your son to demonstrate the work ethic and the example and value of finishing?
On the bright side - I beat a cat 2. Wait. That is on my positive side. :-D
can't wait for the video... gotta be at least one glimpse of my slow ass dangling off the back...
So, I'm a new racer, Masters 35+ Cat 4 in Northern California. I came across your site while looking into racing on the east coast, I might be moving back there soon.
1. Great videos, I've been thinking that this would be great to do, but I would love to see the camera turned around to face front so that the audience could see what it feels like to take a crit. turn in a pack.
2. You guys ride in some serious cold back there. We squawk when the temp falls below 50 and you won't find much of anyone on their bikes when it falls below 30.
3. I am not one to talk, (I DNF'd out of the last stage (51 mile RR) of a two day stage race this weekend). But depending on your physical stress level, you may be better off sticking some of these out. It's always a tough call, but I try to stick it out unless I feel like I'm either digging myself into a training hole that I'm going to struggle to get out of, or if I simply don't have it together mentally. With the number of DNF's that you have been having, just from what I've been reading, it sounds like you need help getting your head back into it,maybe take a break, I am. It's a long season and we're not quite half way through.
Anyway, good luck w/ the coach, I have one also and it can be pretty useless sometimes. Good luck with the power meter, I refuse to cough up another grand for that, but I'm learning more and more about HR.
Above all keep it safe and fun
Arthur
gewilli, point taken, but when the titanic started sinking, I'm sure the passengers weren't thinking about "finish what you start". They wanted to get the hell out of there. Kind of how I felt Sunday.
Arthur,
Many thanks for the input. I intend to do as many videos as possible, and in fact I did record a Wells Ave training race in the forward facing direction. It can be found with a Google video search for "Wells Ave Criterium".
I forced myself to rest today. It was beautiful out after work, but I resisted. Additionally, another of our local training crits kicked off at 6:00 pm, and I managed to stay away from that too.
For the next few weeks I plan to do the Wells Ave crits on Sundays, maybe a Ninigret or two as time allows. I have the Hartford Crit, Nutmeg Crit and Keith Berger Crit in my crosshairs. Let's see if I can shake off this burn-out with some smart training and ample rest until then. Hartford Crit is only 3-1/2 weeks from now. I am about to pull the trigger on the Powertap purchase. I'll be posting some info on that in the coming weeks
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